Satan’s
Authorized Biography
By D R Hann
Createspace
Publishing
Revised Edition
My Copyrights and Notices
Copyright © 2009 by D.R. Hann
All rights reserved. No part of this
publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by
any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior
written permission of the author me.
This is a work of fiction. Names,
characters, places, and or incidents are of the author’s imagination and are
fictitious.
Satan’s Authorized Biography
Did God create Satan? Why and when did Satan turn evil? What did Satan do during Biblical times, and
after?
This is the first book in the Writer Don
Book series.
The fictionalized, ( tongue in cheek),
life of Satan, as told by Satan.
His creation and his life story, his evil
and corrupt ways. From the very beginning to the present. Satan will tell how he feels and how he
thinks. His ways, the whys and how, as
only Satan can tell it.
You will learn how and why Writer Don came
to write for Satan.
Also, Satan’s own final, chilling warning
to mankind!
I loosely followed the Bible’s time line,
but as far as all Biblical facts, there I find myself guilty I would like to thank my wife Phyllis.
Without her hard and diligent work this book would not have been possible.
Thank you Phyllis.
Chapters
In The Beginning
Babylo And King Sodom Gomorrah
Into Egypt
Out Of Egypt
The Kings Come
My Struggles
Prophets
The Maccabees
His Son Is Born
My Time Is Short
Chapter 1 The Beginning
I remember the day that Satan came to me,
but could not tempt me. I thank the Lord God, in Heaven, and his son Jesus for
the faith and belief that I have.
I was jogging, I love to jog, and I could
see dark storm clouds moving towards me quickly. I knew I had to turn for home
and when I did, it happened. I was
knocked to the ground unconscious. A burning feeling ran throughout my body and
I thought I must be dead! I think I was
hit by lightning. A tranquil peace
covered me and I saw a soft, gentle light. What peace, what a feeling. I was at total peace with myself and the world
A voice that I knew was filled with only
great love, spoke to me. “It is not your time, your time will come but it is
not now. You must go back and live until your time comes. Now go in peace and keep your faith
strong.”
With my clothes still smoking, I limped
home. When I entered the house, my wife took one look at me and said, “My Lord,
what happened to you?”
To which I replied, “I think God spoke to
me.” I told my wife what happened. I think she thought the lightning had short
circuited my brain. I know what happened to me, what I heard. I still don’t think she believed me. I know, God, his Son or an angel had spoken
to me.
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After going to the emergency room and
receiving a battery of tests, they called me fit. In fact, the doctors did not even think that
I was hit by lightning. Let them all say
and think what they want, but I know what the truth is.
The next morning after my wife left for
work and I was sitting at my computer writing the third chapter of my latest
book, a small light entered the house, bouncing off the walls, then coming to
rest near my computer. I’m thinking, now what’s going on, it must just be a
side effect, and maybe I should call my wife. No, she won’t believe me. She’ll just tell me to lie down. The small light remained, and I‘m thinking,
maybe it’s an angel, I should speak to it.
“Okay, you have my attention, is this
about last night?”
The light replied, “No, this is about you
and your strong faith.”
“My faith?
After last night, I think my faith has grown stronger. Were you the one
who visited me last night?”
“No.
Is your faith strong? Really
strong?”
“I think it is, but at times, we, as
humans, can become weak. Is that what
this is about, my faith?”
“Not completely. I noticed you are a writer and not a good
one.”
“It helps pay the bills. I love what I do. Money is only secondary, as it should be. I
am fortunate to be able to do what I love, and my wife backs me.”
“How would you like to write a book that
actually sells?”
“Who are you?”
“Who am I?
The one who has been misunderstood by your kind, mankind. That is why I have come to you. You
are a writer and because you were hit by lightning last night, you are able to
see and hear me.”
“I was hit by lightning, but who are
you? Why do you come to me? There must
be others who can see and hear you?”
“Actually right now, no, but because I
made a deal with God, I must choose a person with strong faith. You ask, who am I? Well, let’s put it this way, I was here when,
God created this earth.”
“Shoot, are you the Devil?”
“Hell no, he is still in Hell, with
Lucifer, trying to figure out a way to cast me down.
My name, which God gave me himself, is
Earth. Adam got mad at me and called me Satan, which means adversary. God said if I was Adam’s adversary, then I
must be God’s Adversary.”
“You must have the wrong writer, I am on
God’s side, I certainly would never make a deal with you.”
“No deals, I just want to tell my side of
the story.”
“The way I see it, your side of the story
is lies”
“Maybe they are, but each person, each
mankind should have a right to decide, I only want to tell what I have seen,
lies and all. You see, my time is short. I only want to do this before the son of God
casts me down and I am no more.”
“So you know you will lose in the
end.”
“Maybe, probably, unless I can find God’s
weakness, which I have not found in thousands of years.”
“I don’t think writing for Satan is a good
idea. It may even be against God.”
“Do you know God promised me that I could
have a book too, just as God has a book, called the Bible? God
promised me that near the end times, I could have a book. God wants to separate the good from the bad,
evil from the just. God will not permit
me to write it, just as God and his son did not personally write any of the
books of the Bible, they always used man to do that. What if I could have an angel of God let you
know that it would be God’s will, then will you write for me?”
“You are the great deceiver, how would I
know that it is an Angel of God?”
“God said I could have a book, but it must
not be written by me or any of my followers, it must be written by someone of
great faith.”
“I do not like this idea. Maybe, and this
is a big maybe, if I somehow feel that God said you could have a book, then
yes, and only because God said it would be okay.”
“I must leave now writer, for I can no
longer be present in front of an angel of God.”
Maybe I should call my wife, I think I am
hallucinating!
Then another light came to me and said, “I
am an angel of God, my name is Thunder and I will guide you and protect
you. For God does permit Satan to have a
book at the end times. God wants people
to decide, his way or Satan’s way.
In the beginning, God loved Satan
too. God named him Earth, but Satan was
not obedient, he hurt and deceived mankind.
God cast Satan down and has bound him to this place called Earth.
God’s Son will judge the good and the bad,
the evil from the just, the faithful from the faithless. So you may write for
Satan, his great book of lies. You are
of great faith and belief and I will be near you, to guide you and protect
you.”
I was at total peace and knew with great
faith that this was indeed an angel of God.
Then as quick as Thunder’s light appeared, it left.
“You see writer, I do not always lie, just
when I have to. Will you write for me?”
“Go ahead Satan, start your book of lies,”
I must start at the very beginning, even
before mankind walked on this Earth¼.God made this
place we call Earth, but I could have made it too.
Before God created Earth, he created us
super natural beings, which you men call angels. That’s right, I am an
angel.
We angels were grateful and we had much
love within us and around us. God said to us, “I must make the heavens and
heavenly bodies and all spheres that will be Tara Firma.”
Now really, let’s stop right here, I could
have done the same thing!
After God did all of these things, we
bowed before him and we sang a heavenly praise to him. Talk about a choir, we were great.
Some of the angels asked, “God, what shall
we do with this magnificent creation that you have made?” Now this is a true fact, without speaking,
God said to us, “Look at my wonders and hold these creations close to you.”
There were some of us that were curious,
we wanted to know and we kept questioning God.
Why God would do this or do that?
God said, “For everything there is a
purpose, you must not question, but only accept, because where it is hidden
will be revealed in time. We will make
this Tara Firma.” I really believe I
could have done this too.
Hot fiery molten rock was brought forth.
God cooled it by bringing waters onto the Tara Firma and it was set in space.
Then God said to us, “Now I will show
you lights, which you have never seen
before. I will set them into the heavens
and they will be of constant beauty and will complete this Tara Firma, giving
it light and warmth.” I have to say,
looking at the stars in the beginning of time, it was beautiful.
On this day, I asked God if this Tara
Firma was for the angels? God replied
without speaking, “This Tara Firma is a special place for a being that I will
make in our image, but you may also walk upon this place. Remember this, my family, you must always
have love for this being that I will create.
First I must create plants of all kinds, some with fruit, some
without. Then this being may taste what
I have done and this being will know of my love.” Honestly, I’ll give God credit, a
fresh piece of fruit is so good. I asked God if I too could take the fruit of
the tree, so that I too could taste God’s love and greatness. God said, “You
may partake of this fruit so you will know my love.” It was good.
God said to me, “You are wise and I will
call you Earth.” On that day, God named
all of the angels in the heavens.
I asked God, “Will you now make this being
in our image?” God replied, “First, I will place other creatures here for the
being.” I asked God if I could interact
with these creatures to see and feel.
God said without speaking, “You may touch these creatures but you must
not harm them and only have love for them, because they do not have wisdom like
you.”
When I was walking on the Tara Firma, I
came upon a creature that was very long and thin, with multi colors. There has not been one snake like this since.
This creature, which I named Obar, went into the trees but would not go on the
ground. I said to the creature, “Come to
my side so that I may touch you and feel God’s greatness.” Like a pet dog, the creature did. At that time, I thought God was great and God
had wisdom. Of all the creatures that God had created, Obar was my favorite.
There was another angel, named Sherihaza,
who would almost always go and be with me.
But his wisdom was half of my own.
I asked God, again, if he would now create
the being in our image to walk on this Tara Firma? God replied without speaking, “First, I will
create a special tree, a tree of knowledge that will be a sign between me and
the being that I will create in our image.
No one must partake of the fruit of this tree, for on the day they do I,
the Lord your God, will destroy this tree and any who would partake of
it.” I said to God, “God, I am your
humble angel, Earth, which you have found favor with. May I partake of this tree?” God replied, “I have found favor with you,
but this tree is a sign of my wisdom and greatness. You must never partake of this tree, for if
you do, on that day you will be no more.”
I mean, God was my father, why would he not want me to taste this
fruit? When I heard what God said, I
went down to the Tara Firma and I called for Obar, and Obar came and he
comforted me.
After the light had risen again, I went to
God and once again asked,
“Will you now make the being in our
image?” God said without speaking, “Yes,
the time has now come when I will create the being, I will call him Man.” Wow, I thought this has got to be something
really special. Wow, I was disappointed!
God made Man and told him what he could
and could not do. One of the things was; man could not eat the fruit of the
special tree, for on that day, man would be no more.
God said without speaking, “When the light
comes upon this Tara Firma again, man will not do any burdens, for I will
separate this time as
my time, the
Lord your God’s time.” A time of rest, I
think you call it the Sabbath. “It will
be a sign that if you believe in me, you will have no
burdens at this time.” I love that man no longer celebrates the
Sabbath, which, by the way, is Saturday.
I and the other angels praised God and
told God of his greatness. I went to the Tara Firma and followed the man, which
God had created. I took great care not
to interact with the man. At God’s time of rest, the man lay on the ground and
was still, until the light had gone from the Tara Firma. Then the man rose and ate fruit from a tree,
I think it was a peach.
God came to the man and told the man
without speaking, “You should name all of the creatures, trees and heavenly
bodies, which I have created for you.”
The man said to God, “I will be known from this day forward as Adam. God
said, “This shall be.” Adam, first
sinner, worst sinner!
I
continued to follow the man, who was now known as Adam, but I would have called
him Penis.
I went to God and said, “My Lord God, I
feel that Adam is not right.” There was just something missing, but don’t blame
me for Eve or women. If I would have
made Eve, she would not have had a mouth to speak, her desires for man would
have been much greater, and her breasts would have been twice as large.
God said without speaking, “It is not good
for Adam to be alone.”
God went to Adam and placed Adam into a
deep sleep, and from one of Adam’s ribs, he created another being that was
different than Adam. God called this being woman because the being was from
man.
Adam named this woman Eve. God was
pleased, this was a time of happiness. Adam was pleased and the angels praised
God for his wisdom.
God called me and said without speaking,
“Earth, you must now bow down to my creation, Adam.”
“What?
I have to bow before this thing that was made after me? I asked.
My Lord God, you have made me first, and Adam has even
called us
special beings. Why must I do this My
Lord?”
God said without speaking, “Because then I
will know that you truly love me and praise me.”
I bowed before Adam, but God knew that I
did not have love for the man, Adam. I
really did not.
God said to me without speaking, “Earth,
you truly do this thing without love within you. Know that I am your Lord God, I must cast you
down to this
Tara Firma, as this will be your kingdom.
You will be bound to this place and I will call it Earth. You will be
bound to Earth until I, the Lord your God, will rebuild it.” I tried to break the bonds of this place but
could not. I called to God and said,
“Lord my God, please help me.” God said to me without speaking, “If you can bow
before my creation, Adam, with pure love within you and around you, I will cut
your bindings.”
I tried again, I bowed, but it was still
without love. God said without speaking,
“The day that you, Earth, can bow down with much love within you and around you
to my creation man, surely on that day, I, the Lord your God, will cut your
bindings.” That was the day I became
who I am.
I sat by the special tree and called to
Obar that Adam had named a snake, Snake.
That Adam had no imagination. I
called for my friend, Sherihaza, and there we sat and I wept. Sherihaza said, “Earth, you have much
wisdom. Maybe if you partake of the
fruit from the special tree, then you can be as God.” Never listen to someone who is only half as
smart as you. I replied, “I shall, but
God has said on the day that anyone partakes of this fruit, then on that day,
this tree and those who partake of it
shall be no more.”
Sherihaza then spoke, “You are without
love within you and around you. You are bound to this place. What is better? Nothing or maybe being like God?” I guess at that time I really did not
care. I took the fruit and ate of it and
gained much knowledge. “Now I am like
God.” I told Obar to search out the
being called Eve. Obar was great and
found Eve right away, although the garden was not that large. I spoke through the snake and convinced Eve
to partake of the fruit. I told Eve,
“See, we are now like God. Now go and
find the man, Adam, then we will all be like God.” So Eve did this. Oh, in case you are wondering what Eve looked
like, she
was very
plain. On a scale of one to ten, she was
about a six.
God came into the garden and knew what I
had done. Like I said, God knows all. God was mad and with rage. God was only mad like this
one other
time, right before the flood. God
pointed to the tree of knowledge and it was no more. Then God turned to Adam and Eve and banished
them from the garden. God looked at the
snake and it was no more. Then God
looked at all of the snake’s offspring and cast them all
out of the
trees.
Was I scared? Hell yes!
God said to me without speaking, “I, the Lord your God, have created
you. I, the Lord your God, can destroy
you, but I have great love and wisdom and will spare you and man. But know this, a time will come when you and
my offspring will fight, and in the end of times, my offspring will cast you
down and you will be no more.”
What? I thought, my own brother
will cast me down, as we have the same father.
Then God left.
I thought, God will have another
offspring? What if I could take God’s
offspring, my brother, and change him.
He would be like me, then I would truly be as God, and in the end of
times, I could cast God down and he would be no more. I know, wishful
thinking.
I called for Sherihaza and said to him,
“I will be like God and I will create beings like Adam.” So I made
beings, which were like Adam, and I called for them to be with me. I told these new beings that they should
always honor and obey me for I, Earth, am your Lord God. I was God’s
bad
child.
God had seen what I had done, and God
came upon where I and the beings were.
God spoke without saying a word, “Earth, you have done wrong again, for
now you have mocked me. Know this, you may no longer create beings, animals,
plants or anything that is seen or unseen.
I have love and forgiveness within and around me. I will not destroy these beings, which you
have created. I will change them. They
will not be as Adam. They will be like
any other beast and have fur upon them.
No longer will they want to walk upright. They will prefer the trees like the snake who
deceived Eve. They will not have the intelligence of Adam. Adam and his
offspring will have dominance over them.”
So it was, on that day.
Man, does he really think that he
actually came from monkeys? If he did,
where is the missing link? He has never
found it and he never will. Why? Because
God made man and I made monkeys.
Adam and Eve were struggling in the
wilderness outside the garden. They were
very hungry. Eve said to Adam, “We will
surely die if we do not eat soon.” So I, who had been listening, I have learned
to be a good listener, was filled with joy because I thought, if the man and
woman die, then maybe God would cut my bindings to Earth.
God heard Adam and Eve’s call for
help. Because of his love and kindness,
God gave as much fruit as Adam and Eve could eat. Me, I
would have let
them die, call it tough love. God told Adam that any fruit he or Eve could not
eat, must be placed into the ground.
Then God told
Adam he would
have to toil long and hard to help the trees grow. Some life Adam, you screwed
up when you listened to your wife.
Then I had a thought, if I
could destroy the fruit in the ground, Adam and
Eve would die,
then maybe God would cut my bindings. So, as
Adam placed
the fruit into the ground, I would dig them up and let the other creatures eat
the fruit. God saw this and said to me
without speaking, “You shall no longer do this, because if you do, I will cast
you down to the hot molten center of the Earth.”
The list of things I could not do was
growing.
God said to Adam without speaking, “From
now on, those creatures who try to eat the fruit that you place in the ground,
you may kill and
eat.” This is one of God’s few rules that I
like.
After many years had passed, the trees
began to grow and bear fruit. Eve was with child in her womb. I had been watching Adam and Eve and
knew of the coming birth. I thought, maybe this is God’s offspring. I
started to plan a way to take this offspring.
As the days passed, Eve grew large with
their offspring. The night came where,
as promised by that God, her pain in childbirth was great.
Eve cried out
in pain and Adam tried to comfort her.
The sound of a new being filled the air.
What a noise, I think this is maybe why I
don’t like kids. Adam and Eve cried with
joy, but I made sure their joy was short lived.
As Adam comforted Eve, I grabbed
the baby. When Adam could not stop me,
he cried out to God. God found me and
told me without speaking, “You are no longer fit to live on Earth, so now I,
the Lord your God, your creator, will cast you down to the center of the hot
molten Earth.” As God did, I held tight
to Adam’s baby and the baby was no more.
Adam cursed me and cried out, “From this
day forward, Earth, you will now be known as Satan” (which means
adversary).
God, with his love and kindness, comforted
Adam and Eve and spoke to them without speaking, “You will have more offspring
than the stars that you see in the night sky.”
God was right about that, actually too many.
I was in the hot molten fiery center of
the Earth. Because of the intense heat,
it had changed me, a once beautiful angel into a being with blisters and sores
all over me.
How bad is Hell? Take your worst day ever and times it by a
billion times a billion, that is Hell.
But everyone’s Hell is different and mine was hot, burning hot. There was not a place on me that had no
blisters or sores. I was in so much pain that I cried out for God. At first,
God would not listen, but because God felt sorry for me, he released me from
Hell.
God said without speaking, “Satan, you
were once my favorite of all my angels in the heavens. Because of my love, I have released you from
Hell. But know this; you can no longer
harm, not even, one hair on any human. Now, if you will bow before Adam, with
love around and within you, I, the Lord your God, will restore you to the once
mighty angel that you were.”
I looked at God and asked, “Why do you
call me Satan? My name is Earth, which
you have named me.” God replied without
speaking, “The man, Adam, has called you Satan, which means you are man’s
adversary. You too are my adversary. Until you can bow down before Adam, with
love within and around you, then you will be known as Satan.” Talk about a name change. Then God departed.
I sat by a brook and called for my friend
Sherihaza. When Sherihaza saw me he said, “Why and how did you lose your
beauty?”
“God cast me down to the fiery hot molten
center of Earth because,” then I thought and lied, I was mad, “because I took
some fruit to the man, Adam.” That is
why God cast me down. God even took my
name, which God, himself, gave to me.
But as you can see, I have escaped, so you must not tell God. Sherihaza said, “But if you could escape then
maybe you can be as God?” I said, “You
must never call me Earth again. I will
be God and man’s adversary. From this
day forward, you must call me Satan.”
“Satan? What kind of name is
Satan?” I would have called me Vile, or
Puke, something like that.
I was mad, I really liked the name Earth.
Sherihaza said, “If this is how it will be with God, then I too will be his
adversary. I will also be known as Satan.” See what I mean, not too smart. I replied, “No, since there is only one
Earth, then there can be only one Satan.
You must tell me what God does, send me those angels who question
God.” I was trying to build an army.
Time passed and Eve gave birth to Cain and
Abel. When Cain was working in the field, I went to Cain and said, “You are the
first born, but Adam loves Able more.”
Since I am an angel, I have heard that God loves Able more. Cain said, “You are Satan, my adversary, why
would you tell me this?” Cain should
have told me right there to leave. Cain
hated his brother and was hoping I would do his dirty work. I replied, “Yes, I was your father’s
adversary but I went to him to be his friend and he turned his back on me and
made me weep.” Cain knew that was a lie,
but he was looking for a way to do his brother in. “I only come with peace and love within
me.” Cain replied, “What my father does,
is his business.” I said, “You are the
first born, therefore, it is not right that when your father departs this
Earth, Able will gain all that your father has.
Where is the justice in that?”
Cain noticed God had praised Able’s
offering, but rejected his. Cain was mad, and that day Cain decided to murder
his brother Able. Cain went into the wilderness. I went to Cain and said, “This is not
right.” I was only saying what Cain
wanted to hear. “God is not pleased with you because of your younger brother
Able. You must destroy Able and take
your rightful
place.” Cain asked me, “Can you help me
kill Able?” I replied, “I promised God
that I would not harm man.” If I could,
I would
have choked both Cain and Able. Cain was a smart ass and Able was a sissy
boy.
“God must never find out what I have told
you. Now go and tell your brother that you have seen some of his livestock
loose in the valley.
When Able
follows you into the valley, I will send you a sign that the time is
right. I will be a black crow flying,
circling over you and the crow will call to you. Then you must take a rock and hit your
brother in the head and do not stop until Able breathes no more.” This is what I do for entertainment.
“God and Adam will know you are the
deserving and just son.” Cain replied,
“Ask for their forgiveness and all will be well? Somehow I feel this is not right.”
Mr. Smart Ass gets cold feet. I think you would call him a bully. I said, “What is right and just is your
rightful place next to Adam. If you do
not do this, God and Adam will know you are not worthy.” What a sales job! Cain said, “I will do this thing, but I will
not feel right.” I said, “If you do not
feel right after you have done this, then I, Satan, will raise Able from the
dead. Then I will give you my kingdom.” Cain replied, “I will do this thing, and if I
do not feel right after I have killed my brother, then you will raise Able from
the dead?” “Sure!”
Cain went to his brother, Able, and did
what I had told him to do. When Able was
on the ground and he was not breathing, Cain called out for me, but I did not reply.
Your mess, you clean it up. God
came to Cain and said, “What have you done to your brother? Why have you done such a thing?” Cain told God that it was me who used the
rock. But God knows all! God said, “You knew in your heart this was
wrong, you know who and what Satan is.
You had a choice, but you listened to Satan and
now your brother is dead. From this day on, you will have no home, you
will wander until the day you die.” That
poor SOB had a hard life and after that, he was sent to my Hell.
After many years, Adam and Eve had many
children and the Earth was beginning to become populated.
I called for Sherihaza and asked if he
would like to taste the fruit of the tree of knowledge? Sherihaza replied, “Satan, I thought God had
destroyed the
tree?” You got to think outside the
box. I said, “Before God destroyed the
tree, I was able to take some fruit, I have several pieces with me. Take and eat, you will be just like
God.” Sherihaza took the piece of fruit
and ate. He said, “Now I am like
God.” I told Sherihaza that he must
never tell God about the fruit, it will be our secret.
We were walking down a road and a human
woman was carrying some water. Sherihaza saw her and wanted her more then
anything. I said,
“Sherihaza, do
you want that woman? Then you should
have her.” He was quite the ladies man,
but he was shy. Sherihaza replied, “But
how
can I take
that most beautiful woman being?” I told
Sherihaza, that he must seduce her. Tell
her things that will make her proud, tell her things
that will give
her lust in her heart for him. He can
take her and know pleasures that he had never felt before. Sherihaza did what I said. Now he had
pleasures that he had not known before.
Every woman being that Sherihaza met, he did
the same thing to each. When God called to Sherihaza, he had already mated with about 900 women. God asked Sherihaza, “Have you done any
evil?” God knows, do not lie. Sherihaza
replied, “No my Lord, why do you
ask?” God was angry and said, “Silent,
you evil thing, Satan’s brother.” No,
but he was like a cousin. “You know what
you have done. I, the Lord your God,
will cast you into the center of Earth where it is hot fiery molten
liquid.” Then God did it.
I heard the screams of Sherihaza. I called to him and told him that he should
plead his case before God. “Okay, I will
plead your case before God.” I would have
made a great attorney. I called to God
and God came to me. I pleaded Sherihaza’s case.
God said, “I am your Lord God, I am a just and forgiving God, what
Sherihaza did was a direct insult against me.
Now you want
me to forgive him. Before I do, you and
Sherihaza must promise me, your Lord God, creator and ruler, that he,
Sherihaza, will no longer mate with the human woman. For if he does, I will cast him down to the
fiery molten hot core of the Earth and there he will stay until the end of
time, then he will be no more.
Sherihaza will be bound to Earth just as
you are. Both of you will be bound to
Earth until my son brings judgment on all, then you and Sherihaza will be no
more.” I told God, Sherihaza and I would
do as God, commanded. I am such a liar.
God released Sherihaza from his fiery Hell.
I comforted Sherihaza because I wanted to act like I cared. I told Sherihaza I was gaining knowledge and
soon I would be able to make us whole again.
Mankind will look at us and only see beauty. Okay, maybe I was lying. I told Sherihaza that God was sorry for
casting him into Hell and that God promised not to do this again.
“Sherihaza, go and multiply with all
human women until your pleasure is gone.” So Sherihaza went and mated with
about fifteen hundred more women.
When the babies of Sherihaza were born,
they were odd. Some were giants, some
were half beast, some had only one eye in the middle of their heads and some
were very small, less than two feet tall.
I really liked those odd people.
God came and he was angry. He took Sherihaza and cast him down to the
hot fiery molten center of Earth. This
bothered me, only because of the way Sherihaza looked at me right before God
cast him down. I think I had feelings
for Sherihaza, but they quickly vanished.
God told Sherihaza that he would stay in
this fiery Hell until God’s son makes judgment over all. Sherihaza said, “God, my Lord, Satan told me
that you would not punish me again for mating with the women.” Oops!
God replied, “You knew what and who Satan is, what a great deceiver he
is. You did not listen to me. You listened to your own mind and
heart.” I think it was his lust.
Sherihaza looked at God and said, “You are
not a true God, Satan is the true God.
When the end time comes, Satan, himself, will cast you
down to the fiery center of Hell and you will
be no more.” That’s my boy. God said to
Sherihaza, “I am a just and forgiving God.
When you can no longer worship Satan and only worship me, the Lord your
God,. I will take you out of Hell. If at
the end of times you still do not want to worship me, then my son will pass
judgment on you and you will be no more.”
God cast Sherihaza into the fiery center of Earth that is known as my
Hell. Sherihaza cried out in much pain
and torment to me, so I answered, “God
has gone back on his word. I am close
to being as God and once I obtain that status, I will free you from your
Hell. Now I must go throughout the world
and gain the support of mankind.”
As the offspring of Sherihaza began to
grow, they defied God and worshiped me.
My evil spread throughout the whole world. An angel
who had questioned God, came to me and said,
“God plans to flood the whole earth.” I
asked this angel, who was called Star, “Why is God
selfish? He only thinks of himself. We must warn mankind, at once, of the
impending doom.” I told Star, “From now
on, you will be known as Lucifer, which means morning light. Now go throughout the whole world and tell
all of mankind to dance, drink and, have sex with multiple partners and do
whatever pleases them.” Lucifer asked
me, “Is this not
sin?
Why must I do this?” I replied,
“Once God, who is an untrue God, sees that mankind is happy, he will then be
confused and may not destroy mankind.” You
know, I do not think Lucifer was smart. Lucifer went throughout the world
telling all mankind to dance, drink and have sex with multiple partners and to
do whatever would please them.
Lucifer returned to me and told of God,
who speaks to a righteous man known as Noah. God had told Noah to build an Ark
of wood, which
will save mankind. I told Lucifer that I will talk to this Noah,
it is not right that God makes this righteous man a fool.
I went to Noah, who was building the Ark
of wood, and asked what he was doing.
Damn, Noah recognized me and told me to leave. Noah called out to God and in fear, I
left.
I have to say, there are three in the
Bible who I sort of liked, first being Noah, second Job, and last would be
Isaiah. Why these three? Because even though they were on God’s side,
these three men were true, not only to God but to themselves. They changed
mankind and I could not tempt them.
I went into the city and told all who
lived there that Noah was building an Ark of wood, which was causing God to
become angry. They must stop Noah at
once or God will flood the whole world.
As I finished speaking, it started to rain. I was the one who wrote that song, ‘Rain,
Rain, Go Away, Come Again Another Day.’
All
of mankind was angry, because they believed what I had said. The leaders of the city said, “Let us go and
tear this ark of wood down and this will please God. Then he will not flood the whole world and we
will not die.” All of mankind went to Noah’s ark of
wood. The rain was falling hard and
fast. When mankind reached the ark, the
door of the ark was closed and mankind angrily began to pound on the ark but
Noah would not answer. I told mankind to build a fire and burn the ark but it
was raining too hard. The water rose,
the ark began to float and mankind called out to me. I knew it was futile, so I changed into a
crow and flew off, circling the Earth,
looking for a place to land.
Lucifer came to me and asked, “Why has our God done this thing to
mankind?” “This was like a gift,” I
replied. “What did I tell you, God is not a true God. I must tell you Lucifer, I am the true God
who made Heaven and Earth and
everything in
between. I made God, he was one of my
angels and he tricked me. When I was
caring for Adam, he shut Heaven off to me. Noah’s ancestors will worship me,
the true God. Go Lucifer, and gather an
army of angels who have questioned this false God and send them to me. We will
battle this false God and cast him down until he is no more.” Lucifer went and sent me sixteen other angels
who had questioned God. I named each one
of them Devil, Apollyon, Abaddon, Beelzebub, Belial,
Dragon, Perdition, Little Evil, Little Horn,
Tyrus, Serpentine, Angra, Mainyu,
Asmodai, Tempter and Iblis.
When the waters of the Earth were receding
from the flood, God came to Lucifer and the sixteen other angels who had
questioned him and then turned to me.
God asked them, “Why have you turned from your faith?” None of them would speak, as I had instructed
them to do. God said, “I am your Lord God, creator of Heaven and Earth. I am just and kind, but
since you no
longer worship me and worship Satan, who only does wrong, I will cast you down
to Earth until the end of times. If you still worship Satan and not me, my son
will cast you down and you will be no more.”
As the waters from the flood receded, God
cast down the seventeen angels who had questioned him. They, like me, were bound to earth. The seventeen angels came to me and told me
what God had said and done. I replied,
“See, what did I tell you? God is not a
true God. Now come to me, I will take
care of you and teach you the true ways.”
The angels gathered around me and worshiped me.
Then Beelzebub told me what God had said
about a son. At the end of times if we
do not worship God and his son, God’s son will cast us down and we will be no
more. I said, “We must all be diligent,
we must find where this son of God is.
We must also take control of as many of mankind, both male and female,
as we possibly can. In the end of times,
we will battle this untrue God and his son.
We will defeat them and cast them down and they will be no more.”
Then I told the seventeen angels to go
throughout the world, follow Noah’s children and report back to me all that
they do. To Lucifer I said, “Stay close,
as I will teach you the right and true ways.”
“We have now finished the first
chapter. What do you think?”
“Satan, you have not only deceived man
but you have deceived your own angels, your own kind. How can you blame God for your deceitful
ways? God was just, and even willing to
forgive you. Look what you did to Adam’s
child, and what you did to Cain and even you close friend Sherihaza. Do you not see how you are?”
“Writer, I did all these things, but who
are you to say that I am wrong?”
“Satan, God has condemned you. Go to him and bow before him and ask for his
forgiveness.”
“My dear writer friend, too much time has
passed, I have too much pride.”
“Satan, do not call me your friend.”
“Touchy, are we writer?”
“Satan, I do have several
questions.”
“I know writer, you want to know about
that false God and have questions about Adam and Eve. See, I can read man’s thoughts.”
“Have you seen God?”
“I have seen God, but not his face. No one has and no one ever will. I tried to look at God’s face once, but it
was a painful memory.”
“Satan, what was it like being one of
God’s angels?”
“When I was with God, before being cast
down, well, I’ll try to put it into human terms. It is a feeling of total peace, total
love. I think there are maybe only two
times a human feels this way. The first
is when you are born, and the second is when you die. Remember, that was of a time when I still
loved God.”
“Do we all come from Adam and Eve?”
“Does everyone come from Adam and
Eve? No way, I mean they had lots and
lots of kids, but not that many. All of
mankind does not come from Adam and Eve.
Every little detail is not in that book, you call the Bible. Adam and Eve were first, but they were not
the last of God’s creations.”
“Satan, are you getting a little bit
sentimental?”
“Sure, for about ten seconds.”
“Satan, why do you call God, The False
God?”
“That is my pet name for God. Just as God’s pet name for me is Satan.
Okay writer, let’s move on to chapter
2.”
Chapter 2 Babylo and King Sodom Gomorrah
“Okay, I think I am ready for chapter
2. Oh yes, the tower, that big wonderful
tower. If it would have stood today, it
certainly would have
been one of the wonders of the world.”
“Satan, could you please start chapter 2? I have a dental appointment in three hours.”
“Okay, I wish you no pain.”
After many years, I took Lucifer to a
place called Babylo. I told Lucifer that we must tell these people to build a
tower, a tower so high
that it will
reach the clouds. From the top, they will be able to see and worship God,
me. Lucifer said, “But my Lord, how will
they know you are the true God, why do you do this?” I replied, “I will show them my power. A tower is a sign of strength. Besides, to have a tower built to you and one
that almost reaches the clouds? That is
a real wonder. After they build the
tower, they will only worship me.”
See, I was always thinking outside the
box. Always trying to be one step
ahead. Lucifer rejoiced, although, you
could give him a rock and he was happy.
I taught Lucifer how to make fire balls
and throw them. We didn’t have fireworks, but I am proud to say, I did have
something to do with that invention. All night Lucifer and I made and threw
fire balls across the evening sky until daylight.
In the morning, I told Lucifer that we
must rest, for tomorrow is that False God’s Sabbath day. On that day, we will do our work. On the
Sabbath,
Lucifer and I went throughout the city
of Babylo. All who saw us, were amazed
with our beauty and charm, and I could have been a
leading man in
any movie. The leaders of the city came
to me and asked, “Where are you from and why have you come into the city on the
Sabbath?” Lucifer replied, “How dare you question my
father, who before the beginning, made the Sabbath. Did you not see the fire in the sky last
night? How dare you insult my father”
Lucifer had zest and zeal, he
would put all of your politicians to shame.
The leaders threw themselves on the ground
and asked me for forgiveness. I love it
when people grovel. One of the city’s
leaders named
Heth, a real
suck up, said, “My Lord, we are only simple people, we are sorry that we did
not recognize you. Please my Lord, have
mercy on us. So we will truly know you
are the great God who created Adam and caused the great flood, please Lord,
show us a wonder.” I told Heth an
the other city
leaders to rise and watch God’s wonder.
I raised my arms and pointed them
at a nearby mountain and moved all of the great large stones to the bottom of
the mountain. I think that was one of my best tricks. Oh yes, you want to know
how I did this? Well, I had my angels on
top of the mountain. When they saw me
raise my arms, they pushed on a giant log and the rocks came tumbling
down. When all in the city had seen
this, they all bowed before me, worshiping and pledging their honor to me.
I told them they must build a great and
very tall tower that reaches the clouds. From the top, they must go and worship
me. “Now go and do
as I say, for
if you do not do this, I, your Lord God, will throw my fire balls on to you and
you will be no more.” They bought it, those
dumb
SOB’s. I
almost could not believe that they fell for this.
There were some in the city, who numbered
less than thirty, who would not worship me.
They prayed to the False God. The
False God sent the angel, Michael, who told them, “Pack quickly, for God has
sent me to lead you away from this now damned city.” This was the same angel that God sent into
Egypt, to quickly take the Israelites out of Egypt. Everything had to be done
quick with Michael. “Just carry what you
can, I will lead you tonight to a place that is safe from this evil.” God gave Michael all the powers that he would
need. It made Michael much more powerful
then me.
As evening fell upon Babylo, Michael
caused Lucifer and myself to fall into a deep sleep. That’s right I sleep, in
fact, I love a good nap.
Michael went
to the faithful and told them, “It is now time for you to go.”
There was one man named Anam and he was a
man who loved his wealth, more then anything, you will see. He asked Michael if
he would help him with all of his possessions.
Michael replied, “I have told you that you must go with what you can
carry.” Anam said, “But I am a very wealthy man, it has taken me
many years to accumulate all of my possessions.
I cannot just leave them behind, please help me.” Michael said, “Your possessions are like dust
in the wind. Now take what you can carry
and come at once.” Anam looked over all
of his possessions, turned to Michael and said. “Go without me and my
family. Besides, how do I
really know
that God has sent you?” He knew, it’s
called denial. Michael turned and guided the faithful away from Babylo.
In the morning, I knew something was not
right. I told Lucifer, “I think we have been tricked by the False God in
Heaven. We must find out how we have
been deceived. See, I am not the only
one who deceives.” I gathered all of the leaders of Babylo and said, “I think
that some of Babylo have deceived me, which greatly displeases me.”
That suck up, Heth, came forward, laid on
the ground before me and said, “Oh Lord, our God, please do not harm us. We only want to serve and worship you. How
can we repay you for this act of shame, that some in our city have brought upon
us?” I ordered them to go throughout
Babylo and find out who they were and where they have gone.
After the leaders searched throughout the
whole city, they returned to me. They Brought with them a servant girl, named
Sheba. Yes, if you were wondering was she hot?
She was. I could never understand
how hot women of ancient times remained slaves.
Maybe it was the stigma of having a slave for a wife.
They bowed before me. I asked, “Who is this girl?” Heth said , “Dear Lord, this servant girl is
named Sheba. She knows who has gone,
but does not
know where they have gone.” I Said to
Sheba, “Come to me my child, tell me all that you know.” Sheba, looking at the
ground, told me that there were three families that were to go, but only two
went, because
her
master, Anam, did not want to leave all
of his possessions. I commanded the city
leaders to find and bring this Anam to me. As the
leaders left, I turned to Sheba and said,
”Because you were true to me, I will give you great honor. You will be the first of many brides for my
son Lucifer.” I know what you are thinking,
why did I not take her for my own
bride? Oh, I wanted to but remember what happened to
Sherihaza. Sometimes you just have to
have priorities.
Babylo’s leaders returned with a screaming
and crying Anam in tow, knocking Anam to the ground, telling Anam to worship
me. I hate men who cry. To them I wish a slow death. When they come into my Hell, I have special
punishment, they cry all day, 24 / 7. Okay, if you must know, I will tell you
one of the punishments. They must eat glass 24 / 7.
I
looked at Anam, what a baby, what a coward, and asked, “Why would you
want to leave Babylo? Why did you not
leave Babylo? Where have the others
gone?” If I could have, I would have
ripped his head off and stuffed it up his ass. Anam replied, “My lord, please
do not hurt me, for I am a wealthy man.
I can give you a great deal of my possessions.” I laughed and all of
Babylo laughed with me. I acted as if I did not need worldly possessions, but
sometimes I even needed them to get by.
No I can’t crap gold.
I said, “My dear Anam, why would I, the
creator, have a need for any worldly possessions? No my friend, I need no worldly
possessions.” At this point, Anam was so
scared, he pissed himself. “Now what do
you
have that can repay me?” Anam, looking at the
ground said, “My Lord, I will give you anything that you desire. Please do not
harm me.”
Just then I had gas, yes I eat and shit,
remember I am earth bound. I passed one
of the most horrible farts that I have ever passed, must have been that raw pig
I ate. Anam vomited and then begged even harder for mercy. I said, “I
am a kind God,
I will not harm you. Tell me, where have
the others gone?” Anam replied, “My Lord, I do not know. It was Michael who told us he was an angel
and came to us saying he would lead us to a place where you could not find
us.” Michael, he was always a weak
angel.
Anam went on to say that he would have
gone too, but could not leave all of his possessions that had taken him many
years to accumulate. Not only was Anam
greedy, he was stupid. “Look, you can go
and keep some of your possessions or you can stay and get rimmed by
Satan.” Go figure. I asked Anam if he would give me his soul and
be a loyal subject to
me, if I would
not harm him. When I took my first soul, I really thought it would be hard, but
it was the easiest thing that I have ever done.
Anam thanked me and praised me, saying, I
was the true God, creator of Heaven and Earth.”
I said, “My loyal subject, you must do the
following things for me.” Anam replied, “Anything my Lord,
anything.”
“You
must give your wife to my son, Lucifer and you must kill all of your
offspring, half of your animals, half of your servants, except Sheba, which I
have pledged to my son Lucifer. Give me
half of all that you own.” Now I really
thought Anam would have begged me not to do such a thing. I probably would have then told him to go and
kill a cow or just
one of his
servants, but Anam was such a wuss. Anam
praised me and went back to his house and did what I had asked.
Anam returned with his wife and the blood
of the innocent still on his cloths. As a joke, I told all of the people of
Babylo, “Look at Anam, do you all see what a great thing he has done for me?
Because you, Anam, have done this for me, you may take any three women as your
wives.” I think Anam was blind because
the women he took were just plain ugly.
“I will place you in charge of building my tower.” Some in the city of Babylo took my joke
serious. They went and killed their
offspring, servants and animals then came back to me with their wives and half
of
their
possessions. On that day, six hundred
children, three hundred servants and six hundred animals were killed and, over
one hundred wives were given to Lucifer as an offering to me. Now I ask you, did I do that? No, it was mankind.
They built a giant fire in the middle of
the city. They praised and worshiped me.
That night Lucifer came to me and asked,
“My Lord, how can I take all these beings as my wives? The false God has said if we take any women
then he will cast us down to Hell.” I
told Lucifer, “If you take women, then yes the False God will cast you down to
Hell, but if a woman comes unto us, then they can be our wives.” I did not know this, I was lying. So
Lucifer took
all his new brides and made love to each of them. What a stud.
I wondered why God had not come down to punish Lucifer or the
people of
Babylo. I was thinking more on the lines
of fire and brimstone.
I went up to a nearby mountain and called
to God. The false God came and said,
“Satan, I know why you have called me, you want to know why I have not punished
Lucifer for mating with the women, or that mankind is worshiping you. Mankind must decide things for themselves.
Those who are bound to earth only think of earth bound things like gold,
silver, material things and how to displease me. It is up to each one of mankind to decide who
they will follow. They know what is
right and
what is
wrong. I have placed this in mankind’s
hearts, souls and minds.” Wow, that God is smart. When God had finished speaking, I asked God
about his son. God was tight lipped and
left saying, “In time, it will be revealed to you.”
As the days passed, the people of Babylo
built the tower higher and higher and Lucifer’s new brides became
pregnant. I only wanted one
child, selfish
yes, but have you ever been around forty or fifty children? Not pleasant.
I told Lucifer that it is wrong to have more than one child. “What if two children are born on the same day? Who is the first child and who is the second
child?” Lucifer asked me. “What must we do?” We do?
You know the saying, which is
mine. We? You have a turd in your pocket? I told Lucifer, “You must chose one woman,
from all of your wives, to have your child and rightful heir to your
throne. The rest of your wives, who are
with child, you will have a midwife take their child from them, I think you
call it abortion. Any child that
survives, have a midwife take the children to the top of the tower and, as a sacrifice
to me, have them cast the newborns down.”
So that night Lucifer thought about which
one of his wives would be the mother of his child and heir to his throne. Lucifer had two favorite wives, one was the
slave girl, Sheba, the other was Lydia, wife of Anam. He liked Sheba more than Lydia, but he
thought he had caught Sheba praying to someone other than me.
I later found out that she was praying to
the false God, bitch! Lucifer said, “I must make love to each, the best lover on
this night will
be the one I
choose.” Lucifer went to Lydia
first. Lydia had heard what Lucifer was
doing, clever little bitch. She told
Lucifer, “First we must drink the new wine.”
Lucifer could not hold his drink, one cup of wine and it was lights
out. “We will make love all night, then
you will know that I am your only wife.”
So they drank the new wine and made love for hours, like I said he was a
stud, until Lucifer fell into a deep sleep.
In the morning when he awoke, I called to
him and said, “Lucifer, my son, have you decided who will be the mother of your
child and heir to your throne?” Lucifer replied, “My father, there were two
women that I had chosen, but the first one I slept with was Lydia, wife of
Anam. She tricked me by giving me the
new wine, then made love to me until I fell into a deep sleep. I never got to
make love to the slave girl Sheba.. My father, if it pleases you, then I ask
that you sleep with them both and tell me who you would choose?” Right, I am not going to take a chance on God
casting me down to Hell again. I
replied, “ Lucifer, my son, I cannot
take part in
this, for if I do, I will become more human.
Then I will not be able to break these bindings that the False God has
used on me. As your father I tell you,
if a woman has tricked you into not leaving her bed all night, she should
become the mother of your child, heir to your throne.” The truth was, I could care less if he would
have married a goat.
Lucifer bowed before me and said, “So it
will be father, so it will be.”
As Lucifer’s wives became pregnant the
midwives did their job, some even gave their souls to me, double bonus
days.
Lydia was pampered, hand fed and given the
best of everything.
As the tower was nearing completion, it
was time for Sheba to have her child. Lucifer went to her and told her that as
a sacrifice to me, she
must give her
child freely to me. “Your child will be
taken to the top of the tower of Babylo and thrown down by a midwife and it
will be no
more.” Now, is that dumb telling her that? What about saying, “I want to celebrate the
child’s birth. We will go to the top of
the tower and show all, our child.”
While you are showing the child, it slips from your hands and does a
header to the bottom. Sheba sobbing
replies, “Why will you do this to your own child? How can Satan, who says he is our Lord God
and creator, do this to my innocent child?” Your innocent child? A light must have gone off in Lucifer’s pea
size brain. This confused him, so he
told Sheba to go away. Then he could
tell me, his father, that Sheba and the baby had died in childbirth. Hello, I know things, I can’t read all your
thoughts, but most I can. Lucifer gave Sheba a camel and gold and sent
her out that
night.
In the morning, I called for that bastard,
Lucifer, and asked, “Where is the child that is to be born to Sheba?” Lucifer said, “My father, both have died in
childbirth.” I looked at Lucifer knowing
that he was lying and said, “Son, why do you look down at the ground? Look at
me. Tell me my son, what has happen?”
Again, Lucifer would not look at me and told me the same story. Then that bastard, Lucifer, left. He went into the tower and I became angry and
called for my angel, Devil. I told Devil
that Lucifer has not been worthy to be my son.
“From this day, I have named you Devil, my son.” Okay, I call it tough love. I told Devil to look for the slave girl,
Sheba. “She has deceived me and has
lied. You must seek her out and cast her
down until she is no more.”
Sheba, that bitch, was in the desert about
to give birth. She prayed to the False
God and asked that God toforgive her.
God heard Sheba’s prayer and sent one of his angels to her. The angel said, “Sheba, the Lord your God and
rightful creator, has heard your prayer, so he has
sent me to
help you and protect you.”
I feel generous so I will tell you one of
my weaknesses, the power of prayer.
That night the angel of God helped with
the birth of Sheba’s baby girl. Sheba asked the angel of God that since the
child is half Lucifer’s,
then maybe it
would be better if this child will not
live? My thoughts too. The angel of God
replied, “Sheba, you must give this child love,
understanding
and knowledge of God, your Lord, the rightful creator. Sheba, you must go
throughout the world, teaching anyone who will listen to you about God, his
love, and forgiveness.” You’ve got it,
Sheba and her daughter were the first missionaries.
When Devil was closing in on Sheba and her
baby, which she had named Ruth, the angel of
That God caused a great sand storm for Devil,
which caused
him to end upback at Babylo. The angel
of God then led Sheba and Ruth away to safety.
I never found out who that angel was.
Sorry, but I must say this, he must have been the lone angel.
I called for Devil and asked if he had
cast down Sheba and her child?
Devil replied,
“I am sorry my Lord, I think I was close to her because I heard the faint cries
of a baby. A great sand storm came up and when the
sand had
cleared, I found myself back here at Babylo.”
I was outraged but did not show my
anger. I told Devil to keep close watch
over Lucifer. Then I thought, why should
Devil be my son?
Once a loser
always a loser.
When the time is right I will cast Lucifer
and Devil down and they will be no
more. Third time is the charm.
I called out to Beelzebub and I told him
all that had happened. He was and is
very smart. Then I made Beelzebub my
son. I told him that if he does all that
I command, I will let him be king of the Earth.
I will be king of the universe and Beelzebub will be king of the Earth.
The time came when Lydia was to give birth
to her child. I called to Beelzebub and asked what we should name this
child? Beelzebub replied, “What of the
name Sodom Gomorrah? I like the meaning,
‘fortify strength,’ what do you think Satan?” Wow, someone who can think
outside the box. “My son, you have done
well, so be it, this child will be known as Sodom Gomorrah.”
Lucifer called out to me with great
joy. “Today a son is born, my son” I
went to where the child was, I looked with much pride. Do you know why I was happy? Because I could now corrupt a child. “Today is a great day, no work is to be done,
we will all drink the new wine. I will
call my army of angels, we will celebrate
my child’s birth.” I know that
Lucifer was
not happy with me calling his child mine.
But what is his, is mine.
I told Lucifer to bring the baby’s mother
here so that my child may suckle from her breast. Lucifer replied, “My Lord, Lydia has much pain
and cannot let
this child suckle.” Can’t anything ever
go right?
I instructed Lucifer to go with Devil, out
on the great plains and hunt down a female jackal. It is true about the anti Christ and a jackal
being his
mother. The jackal must be a new mother
still suckling her pups. I told Lucifer
to place it into a cage and bring it here.
Then Lucifer asked me something really dumb. “What of the pups, should I also bring them
with the mother jackal?” “No, as a gift to my child, you must throw
them down and crush them with rocks.”
Lucifer said with much pride, “Satan, I
will name my child, Wind.” How about breaking wind. I replied,
“My son, I have chosen your child’s, my child’s name. He shall be called Sodom Gomorrah, which
means fortify strength. He will be a
great king, and his kingdom shall be known as Sodom Gomorrah. Go and seek out the mother jackal, which will
let my child suckle.”
After Lucifer and Devil left, I called for
Beelzebub and told him, “Go and milk the breast of Lydia. Then take some of her blood and mix the milk
and blood. Place the mixture in an utter, that you have cut off of a small
goat, and bring it to me.” Sorry, I have
to say this “that will make it utterly good.”
“Then take Lydia up to the top of the tower and have the
city leaders
cast her down. If they should question
you, tell them Lydia is an unfit mother who will not let her child, the child
of Lucifer, suckle.” Beelzebub did just
as I had told him.
When Beelzebub had taken Lydia to the top
of the tower, he instructed the leaders to cast Lydia down from the tower. Anam told
Beelzebub that
this was wrong and asked him who would have instructed him to do such a thing?
Beelzebub replied, “Your Lord and God,
Satan.” Anam demanded that nothing be
done until he had spoken to me.
When Anam left to go and speak with me,
Babylo’s leaders cast Lydia off the top of the tower and she was no more. Anam came to where I was feeding the newborn
with the baby goat’s utter. “My Lord,
Satan, one of your angels, Beelzebub, wants to cast this child’s mother, Lydia,
off the tower.” I did not look up at Anam, he was a pompous ass. “ How
dare
him come to me
when I was feeding my child, my newborn.”
I kept looking and speaking to
the child. Again, Anam asked me why I
would do this? My eyes were only on the
newborn. Anger grew in my voice, I
spoke, “How dare you come to me and ask me, the Lord your God, creator of all
things, for anything, about anything.” You’ve got it, he pissed himself again. When I finished speaking, I made a mighty
wind blow so hard that it blew Anam right out of my palace.
A servant girl betrayed me and went to
Anam and told him what Beelzebub had done with Lydia’s milk and her blood and
that Lydia had
already been
cast down from the tower. When Anam
heard this, he went to the center of Babylo, climbed to the top of the tower
and called to all of the residents. ”My
fellow Babylonians, this one who calls himself Satan,
our Lord and
God, the creator, he is a false God, he is a great deceiver. Be not taken in by
his ways. A true God would not feed a
newborn his
mother’s milk
and blood. A true God would not order
the casting down of a newborn’s mother.
This is not the true God, but the one who we heard of, the great
deceiver who, at the beginning of time, deceived Eve. The great deceiver, who the true God and
creator cast down from heaven and has bound him to the Earth.” Anam gave a fine speech and acted like man
when it came to his death.
I said to Anam, “My dear Anam, come down
to me and I will heal you.” With my words, Anam threw himself down from the
tower, Anam was no more.
I knew I must think quickly, so I turned
to the Babylonians and said, “My friends and children of Babylo, the mother was
cast down from your tower by your own city leaders. Anam had told Beelzebub that she had tried to
kill her newborn. Anam, himself, wanted to take the child and hold it for
ransom. He so wanted all, that he freely
gave to me so that I should give back to him in exchange for my child. He has even taken one of Lucifer’s wives,
Sheba, and told her to go into the great plains and wait for him. The great deceiver, Anam, is dead and my
child, Sodom Gomorrah, king of the kingdom of Sodom Gomorrah, lives. Hail to King Sodom Gomorrah.”
Then the people dragged the body of Anam
outside the city gates and burned Anam’s body. Remember, when you have your
back to the wall, deny.
When I was alone, I could hear the cries
of Anam coming from the fiery center of the Earth. At first, I tried to ignore his cries but
after a
while I called
to Anam and said, “Anam, why do you cry out to me?” Anam replied, “Now I know you are the great
deceiver. I will no longer pray or honor
you. In my pain and torment, I will pray
to the true God and your creator.”
I did not feel like replying, but I spoke,
“Anam, have you forgotten? You have
given me your soul. From now until time
ends, you are mine. In your pain and
torment, you will always be. As others
come into Hell, if you will help me with them, then, I, Satan, when I have
defeated the false God, who claims to be the great creator, I will give you
whatever you desire.” Anam did not reply
to me, ungrateful bastard, instead he prayed out loud, “Oh heavenly Father, the true God, I have
sinned against you and all that is good and holy, forgive me Lord, for then I
was deceived, but now I know the truth.”
An angel of God came to Anam and comforted
him and told Anam that if he kept his faith until the son of God comes, then on
that day, Anam will be in paradise. I
angrily told the angel to leave my Hell for Hell is my place. The angel of God left. Even in his pain and torment, Anam kept
praying to God. He prayed until God’s
son came into my Hell and rescued
him. I called
for Beelzebub and told him to send Little Horn and Perdition out into the world
and find out all that they could about God’s son. I was really becoming paranoid!
After two days, the milk and blood of
Lydia were almost gone. I told Beelzebub
to go to the great plains to search and find Lucifer and Devil. When you find them, make them hasten back to
Babylo, as my newborn will not live much longer. As the hours passed, the child king, Sodom
Gomorrah, weakened and became almost lifeless.
Then I heard the sound
of the city’s
trumpets blowing. Beelzebub, Lucifer and Devil had returned with a female
jackal who was filled with mother’s milk.
Quickly they came to me but by now the baby was lifeless. I looked at my
child, gave an angry shout, and blew into the baby’s mouth. At once,
the baby lived again. All who had
seen this, bowed before me saying, “Truly this is God,
the creator.”
See, I do have a heart. Funny part was,
I was not trying to save that bastard, I was trying to blow the child up. I figured
if I gave a
real good blow
that the child would explode.
The jackal was wild and filled with rage
because of seeing her pups killed.
I looked deep into the very soul of the beast. I am the true Doctor Doolittle. I turned and placed baby Sodom Gomorrah next
to the mother jackal, and as I did this, Lucifer took a spear fearing that the
beast would tear his son apart. Slowly
the jackal sniffed the young baby, then started to lick the baby, then it let
the child suckle and take it’s milk.
Lucifer was filled with joy, and went to pat the mother jackal, but in
anger, the jackal bit and tore off the little finger of Lucifer’s right
hand. With his spear, Lucifer struck at
the jackal, but I pushed at the spear and Lucifer missed. I ordered all to leave and was happy knowing
that this mother jackal would raise this king child as her own.
Lucifer, who was holding his bloody hand,
asked me, “Father, am I not this child’s
father, should I not raise this boy king?”
I replied, “My
son, can you
give this babe milk? Can you let it
suckle so it will grow?”
After Lucifer, that sniveling little
bastard, heard this, he left and went to the tower with Devil. To make sure
that all of Babylo’s residents loved me, I proclaimed that there should be
thirty days of celebrations. I let my
army of angels do whatever they wanted.
There was much sin against God.
Lets just say, it would have made a Roman orgy look like old maids
sitting, knitting and shitting.
Lucifer asked Devil to go and check on
Lydia to see about her health. When
Devil saw Lydia’s servant girl, he asked, “Where is Lydia?” The servant girl told Devil all that had
transpired while Lucifer and he were in the great plains looking for the
jackal. So instead of going directly
back to Lucifer, Devil came to me and asked what he should do? I smiled, why
tell Lucifer
the truth, and say, Lydia was
smothering her
newborn and thankfully I stopped her just in time. When the city leaders heard this, they could
not be stopped, they took Lydia to the top of the tower and cast her down. As I watched this and tried to stop it, Anam
came to the child and tried to steal him.
Once again, I came to Lucifer’s baby’s aid. Anam
climbed to the
top of the tower and as I tried to help poor Anam he cast himself down. What a
good story teller.
Devil went and told Lucifer what had
happened. Lucifer became enraged and went after one of the city leaders and
asked why he had helped cast Lydia off the top of the tower? With much fear, the leader replied, “My Lord,
I could never have done this without your approval. My Lord, it was Beelzebub who had told me
Satan wanted this done. Lydia would not
let her child suckle.” Lucifer took this
leader to the top of the tower and cast
him down and he was no more.
When Devil saw what Lucifer had done, he
came to me and said, “My dear Lord God, Lucifer took a city leader to the top
of the tower and cast him down.” I may
be a liar and some other things, but a snitch, never. I replied, “Go back to
Lucifer and comfort him, tell him if he
so desires he should cast all of the city leaders off the top of the
tower.”
Devil went to the tower and called out for
Lucifer, but there was no answer. Devil
climbed the stairs, inside the tower, and kept calling out for Lucifer, but
still no answer. When Devil had reached
the top, in the fading evening light, he saw a dark shadow sitting in the
corner. Devil spoke, “Lucifer, son of
Satan, why do you not celebrate as your father has proclaimed.” Lucifer slowly looked up at Devil and
replied, “Devil, are we doing right? Are
we doing right for mankind? Is Satan
really the true God and creator? I,
Lucifer, am not really Satan’s son. Satan calls me son because he heard the
other God speak about a son, who will be coming to
save
mankind.” Devil replied, “Son of Satan,
you must never doubt your father. Oh how lucky you are that Satan has named you
his son.” Then Lucifer told Devil to
leave him to his loneliness.
At once Devil came to me, old snitch,
doing what he does so well, and told me all that Lucifer had said. I replied,
“What sadness it is that Lucifer is so weak. What a mistake it was for
the kindness of my heart to have chosen Lucifer as my son.” Here comes the lie, “How thankful it is to
have named you as my new son. You must stay close to Lucifer until the time is
right and I will cast Lucifer down and he will be no more.”
With each day, Lucifer spent less and less
time with both me and his child. Never,
never trust anyone.
When King Sodom Gomorrah was about to turn
one year old and the tower was finally complete, I called for another thirty
day celebration. I was holding King Sodom Gomorrah and I stood at the top of
the tower
and gathered
all in the city and told them to bow down before this mighty King, Sodom
Gomorrah. All in the city did as I had
commanded them
to do.
While their heads were bowed, King Sodom
Gomorrah took his clay toy and cast it down from the top of the tower. I told all in the city,
“Behold, the
king has spoken, he has cast down from this tower. You must also give sacrifice
to this king. I, Satan command you to
bring me those people who will be cast down from this tower, from King Sodom
Gomorrah’s tower.”
As I finished speaking, great clouds with
thunder, lightning and rain came upon the city of Babylo and an angel of that
false God said,
“This is a
direct insult to the true God, maker of Heaven and Earth. The Lord himself will not let this happen and
God will bring his punishment
upon you. You
have followed the great deceiver and not the true God, which you know in your
hearts.” The people were speaking with
each
other, but yet
they could not understand one another. They became frustrated and began to tear
the tower down. Damn them all. When I saw this, I turned into a giant bird,
took the child and flew out of the city.
I called for my army of angels and told them the False God, who calls
himself the
true God, has tricked us all. We must
find another place, a place which we will call Sodom Gomorrah. There we will
find happiness and much pleasures.
Tyrus, a back stabber and one of my
angels, after he had seen God’s light, he said, “I truly have been
deceived.” Tyrus did not go to the place
that would be known as the kingdom of Sodom Gomorrah, instead he went out to
the great plains, there he prayed and asked for forgiveness. There he prayed day and night without
stopping.
In the distance, he heard a woman’s
voice. She called out and said, “Angel
of darkness, you must leave this place, for I am a child of God who is the true
creator of Heaven and Earth. At this
very place, you have no power. You cannot harm me.” Tyrus replied, “ Dear soul
and child of the true God, I was once an angel of the true God, then I let myself be deceived. I now know in my heart, soul and mind, who is
righteous and
who is the
deceiver. Please come to me and we will
pray together.” If only I could have
found those two, but they were praying together, one of my weaknesses.
Sheba knew that this was a fallen angel,
who was truly repenting. She knelt beside Tyrus and there they prayed to God
for three days.
On the third day, a mighty wind blew and a
great cloud came to rest above their heads and God spoke, “Tyrus, you were once
one of my angels, who was deceived, but who now has seen the light of my
greatness. I am your Lord God, creator
of all Heaven and Earth. Because you
have turned from this wickedness, I, the Lord your God, will forgive you. I, the
Lord your God,
unbind you from earth and restore your powers.
Now go with Sheba throughout the world and spread my word to all who
will listen. From this day forward, you will no longer be known as Tyrus, but
as Thunder.” Forgiveness is just another
weakness.
The great cloud moved towards the east and
as it did, a heavenly choir sang a praise to God. Okay, I’ll give them that, the sound of a
heavenly
choir, is sweet. Sheba and Thunder praised God until that evening. Then they left that holy place to go out into
the world to spread
the word of
God, to anyone who would listen.
While all this forgiveness and such
nonsense was going on, I found a small town in a valley. I told all who lived
there that I was the true God. I did
perform what seemed to be miracles to all. They were only easy tricks and I
deceived them.
I told them, “Go out into the world and
tell all of this place, of me, of Sodom Gomorrah and my son, King Sodom
Gomorrah. Tell them all to come to me,
and here they will worship me and my son.
Here, all shall have every pleasure known to man and every pleasure not
now known to man. For I, the Lord your
God, will give this all to them.
The people of the town, which numbered
about one hundred and twenty, did as I had instructed. In only six months, the town grew to a large
city and the number of it’s inhabits were over sixty thousand. They all worshiped me and my son, King Sodom
Gomorrah. They enjoyed every pleasure known to man and some not known to
man.
Lucifer came to me and said, “It is not
right that you have claimed my son as yours.”
To which I replied, “Where were you when this boy was a babe? Where were you on those cold nights? Where were you when they started to tear down
the tower of Babylo? Do not offend me or
my son as I am a just God. I, Satan,
will give you honor by naming you prince of Sodom Gomorrah.” Lucifer replied, “My father, am I not your
son?” I became enraged and I caused a
mighty wind to blow so hard that it blew that little sniveling Lucifer out of
my palace. Lucifer was displeased, big
cry baby, so he went to Devil and told him, “Soon I will seek my revenge and
cast Satan down.” Can you image, him
trying to cast me down? I name him my
son and now he wants to cast me down.
Looks like I will have to cast him down until he is no more.
After hearing this, Devil came to me and
told me all that Lucifer had spoken. I told Devil to stay close to Lucifer and
when the time comes, I
will cast
Lucifer down to the bowels of my Hell.
Then I will proclaim to the whole world that you, Devil, are my true
son. I will even make King Sodom
Gomorrah bow before you.
An angel of God, named Truth, called to
Thunder, who was with Sheba teaching the word of God. Truth told Thunder that they must go in hast
to a place called Sodom Gomorrah because this place is filled with such
uncleanliness. This place called Sodom
Gomorrah is insulting God every day.
They worship Satan and the one that he calls his son. They practice every wicked thing known to man
and some things that man has just learned.
We must find a Godly man, known as Lot. We must save him, for in three
days, God will punish this unclean city.
God will cast this city down and it will be no more. Then Truth and
Thunder
hastened their
way to Sodom Gomorrah.
Little Horn came into the city and came to
my palace. I asked with joy, “Well, what
have you found out about God’s son?”
Little Horn
replied, “My
Lord, I was in the great plains, there I saw the angel called Tyrus, who is now
called Thunder by the false God himself.
So I waited and the angel, Truth, came to Thunder and told Thunder, that
in three days the false God will cast this city down and it will be no
more. Which means, tomorrow, this city
will be no more.” “Thank you my good
servant, Little Horn, now go and leave this place. I will take care of all.”
After Little Horn left, I thought awhile,
then I called for Devil and told Devil that the false God is sending two angels
to spy on this city.
They will try
to cause a great disturbance. They will
try to take away all of man’s pleasures.
Tell all in the city to be diligent and when you find them, let all in
this city do whatever they would like to them.
Then the false God will know my power.
Devil went throughout the whole city of
Sodom Gomorrah spreading what I told
him. I was looking down on the city of
Sodom Gomorrah and I became angry, I mean can you blame me? I raised my head toward the sky and cursed
that false God. I called for my angels
except, Devil,
Lucifer and King Sodom Gomorrah. Kids, I
hate kids. I told them all to go as far
from this place as they could travel in one day and wait for me in the valley
of the great plains. When you are leaving this city, say not a word to
anyone. They did as I had told them. When they were out of the city gates, once
again, I turned into a giant bird and flew
away.
When Thunder and Truth had found Lot and
his family, they told Lot that the Lord, your God, has found favor in his
heart. God has sent us to lead you and
your family to safety, because come tomorrow, Sodom Gomorrah will be no more.
Truth told Lot and his family, “We must go now, so only take what you can
carry. When you leave the city gates behind, you must not look back at this
city of evil. If you look back upon this
city, you will turn into dust and salt.”
All the men of the city came to
Lot’s house and asked the angels to come out, so that they could see them. But Lot told the men, of the city, to go and
leave his house. The men would not leave
and they told Lot that these are the false God’s angels and we must punish them
and do what we want to them. Oh the joy
I got from that. Lot replied, “I have
two beautiful virgin daughters, I will send them out and you may do to them
what you will.” If only I would have
been there, we would have had
the virgins
and the angels.
The men grew impatient and started to
break down the door. Then Thunder raised
his hands to the heavens and called for God to punish these evil men. Thunder
brought his hands down to the ground and a large bolt of lightening hit in
front of Lot’s house. All of the men
were blind and deaf. The rooster started
to crow. Truth said, “We must go now
with haste and reminded all of Lot’s family not to look back at this evil.”
My own city, in which I built for the
pleasures of mankind, soon to be gone, poof.
As Lot’s family were leaving the city
gates, dark clouds gathered, a great and mighty wind blew. Truth and Thunder kept telling Lot’s family,
“With haste, with haste, away from this evil, wicked city.” I, who was now a bird, called to Lot, but
Lot, that little wimp, knew my dark and evil voice. Lot called back, “I know who you are and I
will not listen to you. If I stop or
turn to look back at that evil city, I will be dust and salt.” Then I had a thought and circled over Lot’s
wife. A great explosion occurred over the evil and wicked city of Sodom
Gomorrah, my city. There were flashes of blinding light, the ground moved and shook making it difficult to
walk. Great clouds of dust covered the whole area. Then I spoke to
Lot’s wife,
“Oh my, that is truly the most beautiful thing that mankind has ever
witnessed.” In her weakness, Lot’s wife
turned back to look at the city and turned to dust and salt.
God’s angel, Thunder, told all of Lot’s
family, ”Do not look back, for it is the great deceiver who speaks.” At least I
did not change sides, as Thunder did, traitor.
As Lot’s family kept moving away from the
city that was now no more. Truth comforted Lot.
Then I Spoke, “As your God has claimed my
son, then I
too, have claimed your wife.” Then I flew off to the great plains.
“You, Satan, have became more evil, you
blame everyone else for your own problems. You were the one who made man build
the tower of Babylon.”
“Me?
Writer, I cannot make man do anything.
Man does what he wants. Oh, you may call it Babylon, but the correct
name is Babylo.”
“Satan, what of the murder of Lydia,
which you yourself called for?”
“Writer, I cannot murder any human, your
God will not let me. The city leaders
did this. Do you think if I would have
told them to jump from the top of the tower, they would have? You are wrong.”
“Satan, what about leaving the boy, King
Sodom Gomorrah behind in the city?”
“As I said Writer, I dislike kids. It seems that the False God loves kids.”
“Satan, please do not call him the False
God. Even you know who he is.”
“Okay you big puss, when we are speaking,
I will not call him the false God, but in my book, that is what I shall call
him.”
“Satan, how high was the tower?”
“The tower was about one thousand feet
high, it was huge, maybe a half square mile at the base. It was a work of art. It was gleaming marble with sculptures of me
everywhere, which were some twenty feet high. No known man made thing is better
than my tower, Writer.”
“What was the explosion like?”
“The explosion was, well lets just say,
even I would not want to go through one like that again. Remember Writer, I was a bird flying over
Lot’s family, and it made me drop to the ground. If you look closely, you can still see a small scar from the explosion right here on
my face.”
“Did Lot’s wife really turn to dust and
salt?”
“Lot’s wife, she turned to dust and
salt. Writer, haven’t you ever
seen photos of what happened to people who were in Nagasaki? She looked just like them.”
“Okay Satan, can we start chapter
three?”
“No Writer, I must go down to my Hell and
read my notes. I shall return tomorrow.”
Chapter 3 Into Egypt
“Well Writer, are you ready to write
chapter three?”
“My name is Don, and yes I am ready. I can’t wait to hear how you hurt
mankind in chapter three.”
“Now Don, do not judge me until you hear
chapter three. This is where the Jews
went into Egypt and I really got to punish them.”
“I’m sure you delighted in that!.”
“Now where to begin. Oh yes, in the valley.”
There in a valley of the great plains, I
saw my band of angels and went to them and said, “We must go into the great
land of Egypt, for there we will find many converts.”
On the way into Egypt, my angels and I
came upon a man named Hadad, who looked upset, so I said, “My child, why do you
look so upset?” Hadad replied, “I try
and try to please my father, Jacob, but his love is only strong for my younger
brother, Joseph. My father, Jacob, has
even made Joseph a special coat.” I looked at Hadad and told him, “I, the Lord
your God, tell you now that this is not right. Your father, Jacob, has made a
coat for your younger brother and not for you. This is a sin in my own eyes. If you do
not take this
coat and smite your brother, then you, Hadad, will not be worthy of my
kingdom.” When I had finished, I placed
my arms forward with my palms facing up and fire balls shot out of my palms. I love doing that. After Hadad saw this, he fell to the ground, he was a sucker
for that trick. Hadad said, “ Oh Lord,
forgive me, I will do thy will and take the coat from Joseph and I will smite him.”
With joy, I told Hadad to rise and go tell
his brothers what he had seen and heard.
This was great, not one brother but all five brothers will
sin.
When the time came for Hadad to smite his
brother, Joseph, he could not bring himself to do it, he was weak. Beelzebub would have gladly done this. None
of the other brothers could do it either. So they just placed Joseph in a dry
well. I tried to get the wild birds to
attack him, but that false God protected him.
I went to the brothers and said, “Did you
smite your brother Joseph?” All of
Joseph’s brothers fell to the ground. Hadad spoke, “My dear Lord, we could not
bring ourselves to do this thing. Please
Lord, have understanding. Lord, if it
pleases you, take our brother Joseph and do what you like to him.” I told Beelzebub to retrieve Joseph from the
well. My angels and I took Joseph and brought him to the land called Egypt.
When we
reached the great city in Egypt, we took Joseph to one of the king’s
officers named, Potiphar, and gave Joseph to him saying, “Here is a gift to
you. It would be an honor that you would
accept our gift.”
Then Potiphar asked, “Who are you and
where do you come from?” I stepped
forward and said, “We are humble men who teach about the great Gods of
Egypt. We have been all over the lands
of Egypt. We found this man down a dry
well, and because we did not want him to die, we saved him.” I did have my fingers crossed behind my
back. “I am sure for saving this man,
named Joseph, he too would want us to give him to you.” Potiphar replied, “You are holy men, you help
the needy and teach about the great Gods of Egypt. You are all welcome into this land and into
this city. I give you my great
seal. It will help you wherever you go
on your journey in Egypt. If you are hungry, you will be fed. If you are tired, you will have a place to
rest.” Then Potiphar left with
Joseph. Potiphar could have been a king,
but he was too much of a wuss, he had no balls.
My angels wanted to know why I had told
Potiphar such a story? I replied,
“Because, we must win their hearts, minds and trust. Anyone who doubts me, please stand before
me,” but none of my angels did.
Over the coming weeks, we made many
converts by performing many miracles, which really were not miracles, but what
you would call magic tricks. We told the Egyptians that their Gods were the
true Gods, who created Heaven and Earth, that their Gods had given me and my
angels the righteous power over all of the earth. The Egyptians, who were all amazed at what I
said and did, built me a very large temple on the top of a mountain,
overlooking the great city in Egypt. They worshiped me
and my angels
and prayed to Egypt’s Gods. Oh what a
time it was. It might have been the
pinnacle of my power, the pinnacle of my time.
Word came that Joseph had gained much
favor from Potiphar, something about dreams and interpreting them. That bastard.
Some
Egyptians were
even doubting me and my powers. There
were rumors that soon the whole army of Egypt would come for me and my angels.
I told Beelzebub to go at night into
Potiphar’s house and into the dreams of Potiphar’s wife, showing her sexual
images of
Joseph, so
that she would have desires for Joseph.
Then all Egyptians will see that Joseph
and his God
are weak. Then they will know who is the
true God.
God heard this, he always spies on me. God sent a large and loud thunder bolt from a
cloud, which crashed close to me and spoke, “Satan,
your time is
short, Joseph is not weak. He will not partake in the flesh of a married
woman and all will see who you really are.
The years will pass, and I, God
the creator, will send another who is even greater than Joseph. My people will leave the land of Egypt and go
to the place, which I have prepared for them.
You will win some converts who have no faith in me.
Remember this, a day will come when my son
will cast you down and you will be no
more.” God loved talking about his
son. My son this and my son that. So I replied,
“Lord,” I called him Lord because he had more power than I, “You gave me
this kingdom called Earth. I, Satan,
will grow and gain many converts, and with my converts, I will grow in
strength. When that day comes, when you
or your son try to cast me down, on that day, I, Satan, with my mighty army of
converts, will defeat you and your son.”
At that time, I was scared. I
thought, at any moment, God would cast me down to Hell. But God’s love makes him weak. I think if I can win, it will be because of
God’s love.
A mighty wind blew and the cloud in which
God had spoken, was gone.
I called for Beelzebub and told him what
the False God had said. I instructed
Beelzebub to have Perdition and Little Horn travel the country
and gather as
much information as they could about this man, who would come after Joseph, and
lead God’s people out of Egypt. I sent
Little Evil and Serpentine out to gather information about God’s son.
I told Beelzebub to go into Potiphar’s
wife’s dreams and show her an image of Joseph and what she should do if he will
not take her. She should disgrace
Joseph. Show her to bide her time until she can accuse Joseph of rape. To my joy, my plan worked and Joseph was
falsely
accused of
rape by Potiphar’s wife. Joseph was thrown into prison. Oh, did I rejoice, but my joy was short
lived. God was with Joseph, God
would not let
them harm him. An angel of God stayed
and protected Joseph. With the help of
God, Joseph became strong.
The Egyptians were amazed by how Joseph
could interpret the king’s dreams. He
helped the Egyptians through the bad times.
It was God who helped the Egyptians, not Joseph. Joseph became governor of all Egypt.
As for me and my band of angels, we tried
to destroy and discredit Joseph. The bastard, he had God on his side. I gathered my band of angels and told them we
must wait until Joseph grows old and he can’t even fart, then he will die.
Our time will come. We will destroy the one who comes after
Joseph to lead God’s people out of Egypt.
We will have the Egyptians
destroy God’s
people. We will show this false God who
has more power.
One day I was sitting on a mountain
top. Oh, how I love to go to the top of
a mountain. I heard the voices of
Lucifer and Devil coming from the bowels of Hell. They cried out in much pain
and torment and asked me why I had forgotten them? I replied that I had not
forgotten Lucifer or Devil, but I had to grow in strength, waiting for the day
when I could overpower the false God and cast him down. On that day, I would save them, but I was
lying. I asked Lucifer about his child,
Sodom Gomorrah?
See I can
care. Was he with them? Lucifer answered, “My Lord, my child is not
here, for an angel of the false God had come and taken the child, to where, I
do not know. But it was not
Heaven.” I told him that I will send out
my angel, Angra, to gather information on what has happened to Sodom Gomorrah
and when I found out, I would let him know.
I had no
intentions of
letting Lucifer know what had happened to the child, Sodom Gomorrah, but I was
interested as to where the false God had sent him.
I had no intention of ever rescuing
Lucifer or Devil from Hell. Just call me a bad father.
I called for my angel, Angra, and told
him to try and gather information about my child, Sodom Gomorrah. Angra could still speak
with the
angels of the False God. This made me
untrusting of Angra. You will see later
what I mean. Angra replied, “Satan, I do
not like doing this thing you ask of me.
You and I agree that the creator of Heaven and Earth has too much
power. This I will fight against, but to
use other angels, this I will not do.”
Looking sad, I replied, “My dear friend, Angra, I only care for my child
and I fear that the false God has harmed him.” Angra said, “Satan, you know the
creator would never harm a child. I see
your
distress and
sorrow. I will see what information I
can find.” I made many tears, that Angra
thought I was weeping. The actor I could
have been. How many Academy Awards would
I have won? My thoughts were, you fool.
Angra, when the time comes, I will betray you and I will cast you down and you
will be no more. I have really mellowed from that time.
Time passed, Joseph had gotten older, and
the people of Egypt once again turned to Gods that I had preached to them
about. The Sun God, the Cat God, the
Moon God, etc.
With this new movement, my palace grew
until it was overfilled with converts. Me and my angels performed what all
thought were miracles, but again were only cheap magic tricks, that even humans
can do.
I
would stand before my converts and I would tell them to look at me and see my
beauty and my never aging years. They
must all keep their faith in me, for the day will come when they will all have
to follow me into battle to fight and defeat that false God.
The day came when Joseph was so old he
could not fart, and so he died. I called
all of my faithful together to celebrate this time. We had a great feast and orgy. Then God heard this and was insulted, so he
sent a great storm and an angel.
The
angel of God told us, “Soon a child will be born, he will lead the righteous
God’s people from this land. With the
help of the righteous
God, the great
creator, this child that will be born, will perform many miracles and
wonders.” I have to say, I think some of
Moses’ wonders
were magic
tricks. “When the time comes, even your
own king will not be able to deny who the true and great creator, God, is. All of Egypt will
know that he,
alone, is God, of all Heaven and Earth.”
After the angel had finished speaking, a great wind blew and the angel
was gone. I think, but I am not sure,
this was the lone angel again.
All who were at this great feast and orgy,
were now filled with much fear and sorrow.
They began to cry and beg for mercy.
One small
bump in the
road and man is ready to dump you. I had
to speak quickly, “My children, do not be afraid, for I have vanquished this
angel. I have
sent him
away. He can no longer harm you, for now
you are safe in my presence. You must please me, you must continue with this
feast and orgy. Now we will show this False God, who has the power.” Thankfully, man loves to sin.
The feast and orgy lasted for three
days. Okay, I know, you want to know
what the orgy was like? Yes, all were
naked, yes, there was lots of sex, even with animals, yes, we drank until we
fell down, yes, we ate until we almost exploded and, yes, there were human
sacrifices.
After many years when almost all Egyptians
knew nothing of Joseph, I, who had won the admiration of the new king of Egypt,
told the new king that the Israelites were becoming too numerous. They might even turn against the land of
Egypt. If they did this, Egypt would be
no more. I suggested that the king place
a hard task master over the Israelites, to keep them in their proper
place. The Jews should always be
below the Egyptians. I did this one other time to the Jews, you
call it world war II. I called it a love
fest.
The king did as I had suggested, but God in
Heaven, who was with the Israelites, made their numbers grow. I told the king, “These Israelites,
who pray to
the false God and not to the Egyptian God, must be stopped.”
On the day that Joseph died, an angel of
God appeared to me and said, “Soon the Israelites will out number the
Egyptians. A man will come who will
start a revolt against Egypt. He will
crush all Egyptians and take the throne away from the rightful king of Egypt.”
Okay, this was a half truth. The king, who was worried, asked me, “What
can I do, the Israelites continue to grow in numbers, even after I have placed them under hard task masters?”
This guy was king, if I were king I would
have lined up all the Jews and chopped their weenies off. I said, “Lord King, there is only one way to
stop the Israelites from breeding, you must order all newborn male children be
sacrificed to the Egyptian Water God.
This will appease the Water God and the Israelites will stop having
offspring, your problem will
be
solved.”
The king made an order that all newborn
male Israelite children be thrown into the river Nile, as to appease the great
and powerful Water
God. Hell no, not the Water God, but me.
God sent one of his angels to protect and
guide a small infant only three months old named, Moses. Snot nosed bastard. One day, He wanted Moses to lead the
Israelites out of this oppressed land of Egypt.
Since Moses was found by the King’s daughter, of all the people to
betray me, I almost caved in and made love to her.
Moses enjoyed a life in the palace and was
given a good education and nourishment.
Moses grew both mentally and physically but not spiritually. I tried to turn him my way.
One day when I was in my palace weighing
my gold, Angra came to me and told me that the child, Sodom Gomorrah, was
placed under the
protection and
guidance of seven angels of the False God so that the child may someday battle
against me, along side of the False God’s son.
I
became
enraged, can you blame me? Those
sleepless nights, the caring and feeding, not to mention all the poop that just
one kid has.
I told Angra to stay close to the child
and when the time is right, bring the child to me. Without replying, Angra said nothing and
started to walk away from me. I
commanded Angra to stop. Angra stopped, turned towards me and said, “You, Satan, are a false God, with even less powers
than the God in Heaven. I will no longer
do your work and when the end times come, I will battle against you.” Talk about a power grabber, I think it was
somebody’s time of the month. I was so
mad and blind sided, that
for some
unknown reason, I held up my middle finger to Angra and that is where giving
the middle finger came from.
I raised my hands and Angra was immersed
in a great fire ball. Although he was badly burned, Angra fought back and made
my palace collapse. I threw my hands in
the air again and another great fire ball immersed Angra. Badly burned, weak and near death, Angra
gathered his
strength and
made great thunder bolts rain down from heaven. That was one of the few times I
was physically hurt. I said over a
thousand curses and fell to the ground.
I was able to raise my hands and called on all the demons, of Hell, to
help me. When you’re getting your ass
beat, all is fair. I raised my hands and another great fire ball immersed and
consumed Angra, he was no more. This was
the greatest battle of all time and is still spoken about in Hell today.
I heard a voice which did not come from
heaven or did not come from Hell. The voice was that of the child, Sodom
Gomorrah. The child spoke, “Satan, look
what you have done. You are the great
deceiver, the evil one, who’s time is short.
When the end of times are at hand I, Sodom Gomorrah, son of Lucifer,
will do battle along side of the son of the righteous God who created Heaven
and Earth. He has set up his kingdom for all eternity, and we will defeat
you. God’s son will cast you down and
you will be no more.” Still hurt and
very tired, I replied with many curses. A hard rain fell upon me and I called for Beelzebub, Perdition and
Little Horn. I told them that I had just
finished fighting a great battle with the false God. So I was making myself look good. I told Beelzebub, “Go to the king’s slave
master and tell him what has happened and bring back as many Hebrew slaves as
he will let you have. Work them day and
night, with little food or rest, until my palace has been rebuilt.”
I turned to Perdition and Little Horn and
said, “I have waited too long for you to bring me information on this person
who would lead
the Israelites
from Egypt. Can you not give me this information now?” I was mad and hurt. So maybe I did go overboard. “I should take your
powers and you
will be mortal like mankind.” At once,
Perdition and Little Horn fell to the ground and begged for mercy. Perdition spoke, “My Lord God, have mercy on
me. I do have information on this person
that would lead the Israelites out of the land of Egypt.” Then I asked
Little Horn what information he had?
Little Horn said, “My Lord, please give me more time, for I was
sleeping, drinking and having sex with these humans of Egypt.” Good boy, but
how about doing your job first. I
reached out and grabbed Little Horn, cursed
him and said, “From this time forward you, Little Horn, will walk the
Earth as a human, you will be rebuked by your fellow man.” Maybe I was too hard on him? Nay, I did the right thing. I commanded Little Horn to go.
Little Horn was rebuked by the humans, no
matter where he went. Humans would chase
him and stone him. Little Horn made his
way to a mountain in the land of Gad and found a cave, there he lives even
today. Perdition spoke, “There is a Hebrew who lives at the king’s palace, who
should have been thrown into the Nile.
The false God must have sent an angel to protect and guide this man that
is named Moses.” Moses? What kind of
name is Moses? He needed a real hero’s
name like Spear or
Thrasher.
I know of this Moses, I tried to trick him. Damn, False God’s angel. I told Perdition to join Little Evil and
Serpentine in their search of God’s son.
I thought, I must discredit and destroy
this man, named Moses. I turned into a
giant bird and flew over the great city.
I loved flying above mankind and
letting loose my bowels. I placed
rage into Moses. When Moses had seen an
Egyptian master beating an Israelite so hard that it knocked the Israelite to
he ground, Moses took a rock and crushed the head of this Egyptian master. Moses said, “I must now flee Egypt, for I
have killed an Egyptian.” Moses fled to
the land of Midian. I said to God, “I have over powered your Moses, for he
flees from Egypt.” Little did I know
that God was just getting him ready to take the Israelites out of
Egypt.
I called my angels and told them that I
had defeated the false God in heaven and sent Moses fleeing. I said, “We will now do what we want to the
false God’s people.” Yes, I know I was
bragging. “We will beat them, we will
hurt them, we will kill them until they bow down and worship me.”
I went and told the King of Egypt what
I had done, the king proclaimed a great
feast. Let the Egyptian people do what
they will to the False God’s people, for then they will know that
Egypt’s own Gods are more powerful. The
great feast went on for three days. The
Egyptians did feast and drink the new wine.
This feast was very tame compared to ones
in
Babylo.
The Egyptians beat, hurt and killed God’s
people. I went to the king and told him
to show the false God’s people who has the real power.
Make them work
hard, with little rest or food, break them, let them bow down before you, so
they will know who is their king and God.
After many years of cruelty, the
Israelites still believed in God in heaven. The False God looked upon them with
favor and sent Moses back into Egypt. God gave Moses many powers. Okay, I will
admit I was in fear of some of Moses’ powers.
Beelzebub was wandering in the dessert
looking for information on the son of God.
He saw Moses and the other human called Aaron. Beelzebub went into the camp of Moses, but
Moses knew who Beelzebub was and Moses said, “Leave, you have no power here
because God in Heaven’s hand is with me.”
Beelzebub placed his arms at the ground and started to chant as he
wanted to bring fire from the Earth to burn and torment Moses. The fire did not come forward. Instead, many snakes came from the ground and
started to bite and torment Beelzebub,
who ran into the dessert, casting snakes off as he ran.
Beelzebub entered my palace. I was meditating and became irritated. I called out for Beelzebub to leave and come
back after the sun had set. Beelzebub
said, “My Lord, I have been in the desert.
I came upon Moses and wanted to bring fire from the earth to burn and
torment him, but I could not. Moses,
with the help of the false God in heaven, did bring forth snakes that attacked
me, bit me and tormented me.”
I rose from my meditation and asked
Beelzebub if he was sure that it was the same Moses who I had disgraced, who
had fled from Egypt. Beelzebub replied,
“Yes my Lord, I am sure this was the same Moses. My lord, he and the one who follows him,
named Aaron, are coming back into Egypt.”
I was thinking this could be good or this
could be bad, depends on how much power Moses has. I told Beelzebub, “Go to the king and tell
him that I would like an audience with him.
This time I will have no mercy on this Moses. I, Satan, will cast this Moses down, he and
his followers will be no more.” Of
course I said this to show Beelzebub to show I had no fear.
I prepared a great feast for the king,
great food, good wine and hot women. For
three days the king drank the best wine, ate great food and
had sex with
all thirteen, hot women.
On the fourth day, I told the king I was
very troubled by a report about the human, called Moses, coming back into the land of Egypt to take
the Israelites out of Egypt. I asked, if
this happens, then who will do our work?
Who will wash our cloths? Who will build our Gods of stone? Who will plant and gather our crops and tend
to our beasts? The king replied, “My
good friend, Satan, no one can come into my kingdom and take away from me. For if they do, my mighty army will crush
them under our chariot wheels and they will be no more.”
That king was cocky and not too bright
militarily. I said, “My king, this Moses
thinks that his God, the false God of Heaven, will defeat all of the mighty
Gods of Egypt. Then his people will rise
up and crush all who live in Egypt.” I
just wanted the Israelite’s blood. The
king smiled at me and said, “I will never let this False God’s people go. Into Egypt they came and now I give you my
word, in Egypt, they will remain.”
Looking at his face and into his eyes, I think there was a little
doubt. That is what
makes me a
great poker player.
After the king left, I called a counsel of
all my angels. The angels gathered and I
told them they should all prepare for battle.
I told them that Moses is coming to free the false God in Heaven’s
people. I instructed my angels to keep a
diligent watch for Moses and Aaron.
On the Israelites’ Sabbath, Moses and
Aaron have set up their camp outside of the great city. I told Beelzebub, “Try to confuse Moses, the
battle has started.” Me fight? I am sort of a coward and I don’t want a
bunch of snakes biting me.
I went before the king stating that Moses
is outside the city gates and I asked the king if he should dispatch his army
to crush Moses and
Aaron. The king tells me that to crush Moses would
be easy but it would make a martyr of him.
I knew it, that doubt in his eyes, he was scared. “I, the king of all Egypt, will disgrace this
Moses. I will show the Israelites that
Moses and his God are false. They cannot
defeat the mighty Gods of Egypt.”
On the first day of the week, Moses
requested an audience with the king, which the king granted. Immediately, the king calls for me and his
wise men, who were really magicians.
Moses asked the king to let the God in
Heaven’s people go so they may travel three days into the desert and worship
their God in Heaven. The king looks to
me and I shake my head no. “Moses, if I
were to let these people go three days into the desert, then who would do all
the work that must be done? I, the great
king of all Egypt, using my great wisdom, cannot let your people go. I tell you
Moses, leave my palace, for you have shamed your people.”
The
king ordered all task masters to make the Israelites work harder. He let them know it was Moses who insulated
the Gods and king of Egypt. I loved it. Why the king had the Jews working so
hard that the elderly started to drop dead.
I sat in my palace thinking I had defeated
Moses. I heard the voice of that snot
nosed kid, Sodom Gomorrah. He calls to
me, “Satan, you think you have defeated Moses, who is guided by the true
God. The only thing you did was bring
the full wrath of God upon the land of
Egypt.” Did he really think that I cared, little
bastard. “The king’s time, the mighty
army of Egypt’s time and even all the Egyptian’s time is short. Soon, you will witness the power of the great
God in Heaven.” I replied, “Why do you
speak for the false God in Heaven, when he has cast you down into Hell?” I was not going to tell him that it was I who
abandoned him or as you say, threw him under the bus. “Satan, I must pay for my sins, until the day
when the great God in Heaven’s son, in all of his glory,
enters Hell
and with wisdom, love and knowledge, will rescue all here that believes in
him. My pain and torment are only for a
short time. I know this is not for all
eternity. I will keep my faith strong
and the great God in
Heaven, will
see this.” “How do you know that the
false God in heaven will send a son?”
“Oh Satan, you sad, sad being.
When I died, I gained
knowledge and
understanding. It was written and
foretold, even before you were created, the son of God in Heaven would come to
Earth to free all from their sins. He is
the true king of this place called Earth.”
I told him, He has no power here on Earth or Hell, for they belong to
me.” I knew I was bluffing, but I was
not going to let a snot nosed kid tell me anything.
When Jesus, God’s son, did come into my
Hell after he died, okay, I’ll tell the truth, he kicked my ass. I told that little bastard, be gone or I will
place a curse upon you.
I was troubled by what Sodom Gomorrah had
said. Shit, he had more knowledge than
I.. I called for Beelzebub. “My son, Beelzebub, you
have served me
well but now you must press Little Evil, Serpentine and Perdition to find out
information about the false God in Heaven’s son.” Yes, at this point I was paranoid. It was like the unknowing husband, who’s wife
is having an affair, everyone knows except him.
On the third day of the new week, Moses,
again, asked for an audience with the king. Moses, again, asked the king to let
God in
Heaven’s
people go. Once again, the king said no.
Moses told the king that he has angered God in Heaven, and God will show his
power. Moses
took Aaron’s
walking stick, cast it to the ground and immediately the stick turned into a
snake that hisses and snaps at the king and his counsel. I shake my head no as I cast a walking stick
down that also turned into a snake. The
snakes hiss and snap at each other.
Moses’ snake rises up and strikes down at the Egyptian snake, then in
seconds Moses’ snake has swallowed the Egyptian snake. Oh shit, now what do I do? I whispered to the king saying, ”Moses has
tricked us all, now he must die.”
The king clearly angered, tells Moses to
leave, for he has insulted the Gods of Egypt with his cheap magic trick. I again ask the king to kill Moses, but the
king replies, “No, I must embarrass this Moses and his false God.” Fear yes, the king was scared shitless.
In case you are wondering how I made a
snake appear from my walking stick, it was inside the stick. Right before I threw down my stick, I took
the top off and out came the snake. As for Moses’ walking stick, that stick was
no stick, that was a snake. No magic,
just that God. Two days pass and again
Moses asks for an audience with the king.
Moses, again, asks the king, “Will you let my people go into the desert
so they may worship their God?” Again,
the king says no. Moses tells the king
that because his heart is hard towards the Israelites, God has given Moses the
power to turn the Nile river red with blood.
Moses takes Aaron’s walking stick, raises it over the Nile and instantly
the Nile turns to blood. Fish die and no
one can drink from it. I was there, it
was blood.
Even I am scared but still shake my head
no. I came forward and threw powder into
another river, the river turns red, but the fish do not die.
Okay, it’s the
best I had, a red powder dye. I, again,
ask the king to kill Moses, but at this point, I knew the king was too
scared. The king tells Moses to leave,
for he has insulted the Gods of
Egypt.
Seven days have passed and still this
Moses lives. There are rumors the
Israelites look up to Moses. I wonder
what it will take to discredit
Moses.
I called for Beelzebub and instructed him
to walk among the Israelites and cause them to curse Moses’ name. Hey, when you are down,
you will try
anything.
Moses has asked for yet another audience
with the king. Moses tells the king if
he will not let the Israelites go, then God will send millions of frogs upon the land of Egypt.
Moses takes Aaron’s walking stick, points it towards the Nile and at once,
millions of frogs come up from the Nile.
The frogs cover the city at every dwelling, even the king’s palace. There were frogs and frog shit
everywhere. The king must have had two
hundred people just killing the frogs in his palace. I could not get rid of those frogs.
After a day and millions of frogs, the
king calls upon Moses to rid Egypt of the frogs. If this is done, the king will
let the Israelites go into the desert to worship their God. My idea, I could not think of anything else
to get rid of all those frogs!
Moses tells the king that when the people
of the city awake the next day, the frogs will be gone. The next day when the city awakes, yup no
frogs, but frog shit everywhere.
The king is not too happy with me, so I
tell him this lie, “Look at what this Moses and his false God has done to you,
they have made the Gods of Egypt and you look foolish.” The king tells me, my
time is running out. I will so miss the
nights by the Nile. Then the king does
not
want to look
weak and proclaims, he will not let the Israelites go. Brass balls or someone being stubborn?
In the next two weeks, Moses came to the
king and brought upon the land gnats, flies, boils, hail, locust, darkness and
even the death
of Egypt’s animals. I am surprised that he did not give
hemorrhoids to the Egyptians.
At this time, I knew it was my time to
exit. I called for my angels and told
them where to meet me in the desert. I
was glad to fly out of that city, my boils were still hurting.
After I had gone, the king even tried his
magician’s powers, they could not duplicate what Moses had done. The rumors started, Moses’ God had powers
that no one could match, not even their Cat God. Game over!
For whatever reason, the king still had brass balls and would not let the Israelites go. I think he thought if he were to do this,
Egypt would be no more.
Moses requested an audience with the king
and told the king that this would be the last time he would see Moses. I think the king thought he was getting off. Moses said, “You have angered my God in
Heaven, you have not let the Israelites go into the desert to worship their
God. My God will bring upon the land of
Egypt a curse that has never been seen by mankind. After this curse has passed, you, king of all
Egypt, will let my people go. At midnight, an angel of the true God will go throughout Egypt and take the first
born, both human and beast, until they are no more.” You know, if I were a
betting man, I would have bet against this happening. It was true, it happened that the Israelites
placed the blood of a lamb on their doors and where their beasts were
kept. Those Israelites made ready for a
journey. At midnight, the king’s counsel
came to the king, “All Egypt is quiet and all subjects asleep.” The king tells his counsel that now we
should execute
this Moses and all leaders of Israel.
As the king summons the leaders of his
army, there is great wailing throughout the city. The queen enters and tells the king that
their first born son is no more and that even some of the king’s counsel have
fallen and are dead. Throughout the
whole land of Egypt, the first born, either human or beast, have fallen dead.
Talk about scary movies, but this was no
movie, this
was the real deal. The king rises from
his throne and cries out for his lost son.
The king commands the counsel to go to Moses and tell him that he must
take his people and leave the land of Egypt.
The king told all to leave his palace, for
now he and the whole land of Egypt must mourn for ten days and nights for the
first born.
I watch as thousands of Israelites, that
stretch as far as the eye can see, are on the move. They carry all they own, which includes some
of the riches of Egypt. They are joined
by their beasts and even some beasts that belonged to Egypt. I watch as they slowly leave and empty the
city.
Beelzebub wants to have some fun by trying
to trip the Israelites, but God in Heaven has placed great pillars of wind that
protect the Israelites. Beelzebub can do no harm. Beelzebub says our powers are no match for
the False God in heaven. I thought I had
what it takes, so I tell my angels to
watch me as I will scare these Israelites.
I rush to the front where
Moses is
walking as great pillars of wind roar on either side of the Israelites. I curse at Moses and tell him that he should
tell all who have,
followed him
that they will die. Moses does not
acknowledge me. Okay, now I am
pissed. I raise my arms toward the sky
and tell Moses, “I curse you and every Israelite. I curse all of your ancestors and all that
you touch. I, Satan, king of Earth and
my Hell, cast you down into the bowels of my Hell until you are no more.” Remember, I could not harm them. I just wanted to scare them.
God spoils my fun and the great silent
cloud, which is leading the Israelites, rumbles to life and a great and mighty
voice says, “Satan, you have no powers in my presence. I, the Lord God, have created you and I, the
Lord your God, can destroy you. I only let you live so that
mankind can decide who they will follow in
life. You, the great deceiver, the
possessor of earthly things, you liar, hater, killer, user, adulterer and
thief.” Okay, I get it, I am evil. “I let you live, Satan, so that mankind can
chose. Know this, a day is coming when
my son will judge the living and the dead .
On that day, he will cast you down and you will be no more.” There, God speaks of his son again Who is he? Where is he?
Some of my angels turn against me and they
cry out for God in Heaven to forgive them.
This was not funny. Out of the
remaining eleven angels, only Beelzebub, Little Evil, Dragon and Tempter stood
by me. I am down, I mean wouldn’t you
be?
Beelzebub comes to me and says, “We have
much work that must be done.” I could always count on Beelzebub. Time to have
some fun. We find two drunken Egyptians
and we tell them that we would like to celebrate with them. I tell the two Egyptians to go and steal,
each a
donkey, and
bring them here. Then I have each man
get on their donkeys and give them each a sharp stick. I cause them to have rage for each
other. They wildly swing their sticks
until one of the men pokes the other man right in his eye, causing the man to
lose his eye. The man gets off his Ass. Me and my angels are laughing so hard, Dragon
pukes. The man with only one eye takes
his stick and is beating his friend so hard that the man falls off his Ass. When he tries to get back on his Ass, the Ass
turns and kicks him so hard he lands into a large fire. He is unconscious, does not move and his friend is still with rage and says, “Burn
you bastard.” The man is consumed by fire.
It makes me feel better.
I tell my angels, “We must learn and gain
knowledge of God in Heaven and his son who has yet to come.”
“Satan, what can I say, you have gotten
more evil and are filled with more hatred.”
“Don, I was always being persecuted and
tormented.”
“You!
Satan, you need help.”
“Oh, like psychological help? I tried that once, what a big wind bag she
was. It was my fourteenth woman. She was a psychiatrist with the Nazi army.”
“Wait, I thought you could not have human
women.”
“Oh, later I gave into the weakness of the
flesh, and as long as the woman came to me, God would not cast me down.”
“Getting back to Adam and Eve, what were
they like?”
“Adam and Eve, he was quiet, she was even
quieter. They hardly spoke to each
other. He would go to pick fruit and she
would follow, like a pet dog. They were
very plain, sort of like a mid western couple today. It was almost like watching two robots. The only thing that they may have had that
was special was they were always doing it.
Humping in the morning, humping in the mid morning, humping whenever
they got the chance. They were like two
rabbits.
“What was Moses like?”
“Moses was a scary guy. He had two dark brown steely eyes. He was not that tall, maybe only five feet,
built more like a bowling ball. He
didn’t say much, Aaron did most of his talking.
Moses was always going off somewhere speaking to God. I remember when he looked right into my
eyes. I felt he was trying to steal my soul. After that, I could not look at his eyes.”
“Satan, up until now, did you ever want to
change from being evil?”
“When I was first cast down, I wanted to
be one of God’s angels again but there was no way I could have loved Adam. Maybe if I could
have gotten
help then, or if me and Adam would have gone to therapy, then maybe I would
have changed. I am who I am. I love myself. Well
Don, the
Writer, I am ready for chapter four.”
Chapter 4 Out of Egypt.
“I wanted to call this chapter, ‘Out of
Egypt.’ I did some of my best work on
the Israelites. The golden calf, not
a bull like everyone says. A bull has
balls. No, this was a calf. The turning away from their God. An almost mutiny of Moses. The bitching and complaining they did. All the little things that make me so great.”
“Okay, you think you’re great. Could you just start Chapter Four?”
“You are a party pooper.” Let’s see, Oh yes, I went back to the king of
Egypt.”
I went back to the king and I told him I
was very sorry for his loss. Yeah, right. I told the king that he must go into the desert, hunt
down the Israelites and crush them under the king’s chariots wheels. If you let the Israelites go, all in this
world will hear what the great king of
Egypt has done. Others will come
to Egypt to crush this land until Egypt is no more.
After I spoke, the king raised his head
and, with tears falling from his eyes, he rose from his throne and called for
his mighty army and said, “We will hunt the Israelites down and crush them
under our chariot wheels. All on this
earth, will hear of what the great Egyptian Army has done. All
people of this earth will tremble with fear.”
He
was a mess, at this point, I don’t think he could have gone into battle against
an army of unarmed naked women. I did feel a little sorry for him, just a tiny
bit.
I gathered my angels and told them, “We
will go with the Egyptian Army to hunt down the Israelites. Remember, we must
not hurt them, because God will cast us down.
We can scare them, slow them down and stop them. Then the Egyptian Army will crush them.”
God’s rules, how unfair!
With my power, I changed each angel into a
crow. Talk about hang gliding, to fly,
this was more exciting. We flew into the
desert, leading the mighty Egyptian Army, six hundred swift and gleaming
chariots.
Beelzebub flew to where the Israelites
were and circled, to make the place known.
God told Moses to hasten across the Red Sea, for on this
day, all
mankind will know my power.
God kept surprising me. Just when you thought you had seen all of
God’s powers, wham, God would do something even more spectacular.
As the Israelites were half way across the
Red Sea, which was now dry ground. The
Egyptian chariots were on the shore line.
The Egyptians could not make their horses go any farther. Where do you think the words,
‘horse sense’
came from? I called out to the king and
asked why they had stopped the pursuit of the Israelites? The king replied, “Our horses will not go
into the sea, which is now dry ground.” I told the king to prepare to
crush the
Israelites. What I should have said was,
prepare to be crushed. I summoned fire balls from my Hell, which frightened the
horses to go forward. As the Egyptian
Army was about to crush the Israelites under their chariot wheels, you got it,
the sea swallowed the whole mighty
Egyptian
Army. Talk about a tsunami.
A mighty wind blew until I and my angels
were blown one hundred miles from the Israelites. I told my angels, “At this time, we do not
have the power, as that false God in Heaven has. We must tempt the Israelites to our
way.” If my physical powers won’t do it,
then I had to do it another way.
We would fly ahead of the Israelites and
destroy the water and food of the land, so they would curse Moses and his God,
which they did. I even had a plan to
live among the Israelites to tempt them.
As that false God in Heaven has said, “Mankind can decide who they will
follow.” Sometimes it pays to take the advice of your adversary. We must tempt them with
earthly
pleasures until they are willing to follow our ways. We flew and destroyed the
waters, all edible plants and grains.
After two days of destroying the land, we
changed into humans and joined the Israelites.
The Israelites had been in the desert for seventy days and grew thirsty.
They asked Moses, “When will we have water?”
Moses
pointed to a
spring, which I had made bitter. Moses
prayed to God and God gave Moses a piece of wood, which Moses placed in the
spring and the water was again drinkable. I never found out what kind of wood
that was.
I told my angels to go throughout the
Israelite’s camp and tell them we have water, but what of food? All of the Israelites were asking Moses for
food. Again, Moses prayed to God and God
sent them Quails and Manna. Manna tastes
like a wet dumpling.
Moses told the Israelites to only take
what each would need for their families. I told my angels to go throughout the
Israelites’ camp and ask, “What if God sends no more food?” The Israelites disobeyed what Moses had told
them and kept the Manna. I am good at
making people disobey. Maybe I should do
another book titled, ‘How to make people
disobey.’
God saw the people disobey and He
punished them by turning the manna rotten with worms. I told my angels, “See, these humans listen
to us, we have gained 666 new powers,
the false God in Heaven has punished these people.” Nothing like a big cup of knowledge.
Time to turn up the heat. I will put doubts into the Israelites’ minds
so they will continue to disobey that false God in Heaven. Victory
will be ours.
Three months after the Israelites had left
Egypt, they came to a place called Mount Sinai.
To me this was a scary place, like a haunted
house to
you. Moses went up into the mount. I told my angels, “The false God in Heaven
has called Moses into the mount. While Moses is up in the mount, we must spread
doubt.”
When Moses returned, he gathered the
Israelites and told them if they obeyed what God in Heaven wanted, then God
will let it be known to the whole world that the Israelites are God’s chosen
people.
Moses returned to the mount to speak to
God. Moses, again, came down from the
mount, gathered the Israelites and told
them about the Ten Commandments. I have my own Ten Commandments. God in Heaven had instructed Moses to make a
box, which will be known as the covenant box, for God’s laws. Moses, once more, went up the mount to speak
to God.
After Moses was gone for over one week, I
told my angels to go throughout the Israelite’s camp and spread discord and
lies. I went and
spoke to Aaron
and placed great doubts about Moses and False God in Heaven. In a frenzy and with much doubt, the
Israelites went to Aaron and asked him to make a God that would lead them out
of the desert. Aaron told them to bring
him all of their gold so he could make a God they could worship and would lead
them out of the desert. Thankfully, it
was Aaron,
of little
faith. I told Aaron that he was a great
and a mighty leader. He couldn’t lead a girl scout troop. Aaron melted the gold and made a cast of
sand as a golden calf. Golden calf? I would have made some kind of twisted shape
of a being. A calf?
What kind of God is that?
I told my angels to go throughout the
Israelites’ camp and ask to have a great feast. Okay, I was thinking orgy, but
I knew if I had said orgy, no one would agree. The Israelites asked Aaron to
have a great feast. Here comes the
orgy. As the feast began, I told my
angels to gather the best wines and keep the cups filled of those who came to
my feast. I told my angels to go and do
whatever they liked to these human women.
Just make sure the women want you first.
The feast was now an orgy, not as good as the orgies of Sodom Gomorrah,
but close.
A great clap of thunder silenced all.
Moses came with God’s laws on stone tablets. When Moses saw the orgy, he cast
the tablets down.
What a party
pooper! Then he ordered all at the orgy to be killed. Needless to say, me and
my angels left until things cooled down.
I think there must have been over three thousand Israelites that Moses
ordered killed. I was
glad. I had done my job. I helped the Israelites forsake their own
God. To top this off, they murdered each
other and Moses sinned by casting down God’s laws. It was about time that things started to go
my way. Moses told the people to pray
and ask for forgiveness.
The Israelites traveled seven days from
Mount Sinai, while Moses went up the mount to speak to God. On the seventh day, Moses came
down from the
mount. He had two new stone tablets of God’s laws. Moses gave instructions to make a covenant
box and a tent for God’s
tablets. I guess you could call this the first
religious traveling show.
I called for Tempter and told him when
no one was around the tent to go into the tent and open the convent box. Then come back to me and report all that you
see and hear.
Late that night when the camp of the
Israelites was sleeping, Tempter went into the tent and to the covenant
box. When he touched the box, a cloud of
false God appeared and the voice of God
spoke, “You Tempter were once an angel of mine. You have turned to the great
deceiver and
you would try to cast me, your Lord God, down.
Now you have even come into the tent of your Lord to insult me. You have defiled me and your un-cleaned hands
have touched my covenant box. Therefore,
from this day forward, anyone who touches my convent box, I, the Lord your God,
creator of all, will cast them down to Hell.”
At once, Tempter
was cast into
my Hell. Tempter called out to me and asked why I had deceived him. Like I twisted his arm. “I have seen the true God who
created
me. He is my master, I am his
slave. The master will do his will, and
I, the slave, must do the will of the master.”
Talk about flip flop. I think
Tempter invented it. I replied, “How sad
and weak you are. Do not grace my
presence any longer.” At this point,
what was I going to say? Before Tempter
left, he promised that, in the end days, he would cast me down. Get in line, there were many before you who
want to do the same.
That Lord God in Heaven stayed above the
tent of the covenant box, in the form of a cloud and a pillar of fire. Now that was some trick.
I was depressed so I called Beelzebub and
told him what had happen with Tempter. I asked Beelzebub if he would stay loyal
to me, even in the end days and even if that False God in heaven would destroy
us. I don’t think I would have gone that
far but I was hoping others would. Beelzebub replied, “My Lord, you are the true God, who only does
what is best for his followers. I,
Beelzebub, will follow you, even into the bowels of Hell. My Lord, we will defeat that false God in Heaven
and you
will rise up
so that all mankind will see your glory.
Now come with me, we will drink the new wine and become drunk.” Talk about drinking, we tied one on that
night.
In the morning after the new wine had
passed, I told Beelzebub to gather Little Evil and Dragon. I told them to go throughout the Israelite
camp and complain that we will never go into the land that the Lord has
promised us. I was always stirring the
pot, I was good at it. It worked, people
complained not only to Moses but to The false God in Heaven. God in Heaven did punish the Israelites for complaining
and not having faith.
Again, I was pleased and told my angels
they could take a human for a wife. They
went throughout the Israelite camp, Beelzebub, Little Evil and Dragon. They tempted and persuaded the women to be
their brides. The False Lord God in
heaven would not let the women bear any offspring. I guess he did not want any more giants or
half beast people running around.
Time passed and Aaron died. I called my angels and told them to rejoice,
make ready for a feast tomorrow. Orgy
time. “Aaron, Moses right hand, died
because he sinned against that false God in heaven.” Also, because he was so old that he could not
fart. “After he died, he will be mine in
the bowels of my Hell. I will torment
this Aaron until the end of
days.”
Then I heard the king of the Canaanites,
in the area of Arad, might not let the Israelites pass through his
kingdom. I instructed my angels to
go and seek
out this king and when they find him
tell him that I have found favor with him. I give him this warning that he must strike
at the
Israelites
before they can destroy your lands of Arad.
Beelzebub gave the king my warning. The king replied, “Go back to your king,
Satan, of Earth. Tell him that I will
completely destroy the Israelites before they can enter my lands. I will pay your king, Satan, with many wives,
cattle and pieces of gold. To make sure
that your king is safe when I attack the Israelites, tell him to tie a red
ribbon on his tent. He will be safe
under my power.”
I told my angels to go throughout the
Israelite camp telling all that they have heard the King of Arad is good. He is a Godly king and only intends to love
and give the Israelites food, cattle and half the treasures of his kingdom.
When the king attacked the Israelites, he
did much damage and took many captives.
I loved it, they beat them, stole from them, raped them and killed them.
The false God in Heaven heard the cries
of the Israelites and sent his angel, Thunder, to lead the Israelites. It was great while it lasted. They
conquered the
king of Arad and went throughout the lands and had victory over many kings.
The day came when Moses was very old and
he could hardly walk on his own. I mean,
he could not even wipe his own ass. That
God in
Heaven told
Moses, “Soon my son will come for you and break your earthly bonds. I, the Lord in Heaven, creator of all,
instructed you on all of
my laws. Moses, you must choose a successor that you
can teach. One who will lead the Israelites across the Jordan river to the
lands, I, the Lord your God, have promised you. Moses chose a man named Joshua. Joshua?
What kind of name is that? Beelzebub, now there is a name.
When I heard all of these things, I called
for my angels and instructed these things be done. First, we must have a great orgy to celebrate
the death of Moses. Second, Beelzebub
must tempt this new leader, Joshua, so he will turn from that false God and
worship me. Third, Little Evil and
Dragon, must cross the river called Jordan, go into the city the Canaanites
call Jericho and tell the king that I have found favor with him. The king must get ready to fight and destroy the Israelites.
After the day of Moses’ death, I held a
great feast and orgy for all who followed me.
After three days of this orgy, I ordered all to leave, there was much work for my angels to do.
Beelzebub went to Joshua. Joshua said, “You evil one, my heart, mind
and conscience know that you only seek to do harm. You worship the king of Hell. Leave my presence now, I will pray to the
true God in Heaven.” Beelzebub had no
power so he had to leave.
I told Beelzebub to go throughout the
Israelite camp and tell all, that the river Jordan is poison and if they so
much as touch it, they will die.
Little Evil and Dragon went before the
king of Jericho. They told the king that Satan has found favor with him and they
have come to warn him that the Israelites are to cross the river Jordan and
will march on this city and they will kill all.
The Israelites will not settle for peace. They told the king of Jericho
that he must tell all of his people to fight the Israelites until their last
breath. I love this plan, killing and
dying, more souls.
The king tells Little Evil and Dragon to
go back to their king, me and tell me, after he and his people have defeated
the Israelites, he will host a great feast. The mighty king of Jericho, will
give half of what he owns and will bow down before Satan.
As the army of the Israelites advanced on
the city of Jericho, Joshua stopped and prayed to the False God in heaven. God heard Joshua’s
prayer and sent his angel, Thunder, to give instructions on how to
defeat the great city of Jericho. I
cursed Thunder and told the Israelites that this is no angel of the God in
Heaven. This is just a poor, sick minded
person. Thunder turned his hands toward
Heaven and two
thunder bolts struck at me. Damn you,
you traitor! The Israelites saw this and
they threw stones at me and my angels. What the hell? I am king of the Earth. In haste, me and my
angels turn into birds. I circle over
head letting go with massive bowel movements.
While the Israelites were defeating many
kings and capturing much territory, I am with my angels at Mount Ebal. I tell them, before we can see mankind again,
we ourselves must be unseen. Again,
thinking outside the box. We will be
heard but not seen. Where there is a
weak willed person, we will comfort them.
From this day forward, we will tempt mankind with all that he desires,
sex, drinking, stealing, lying, fornicating, killing, cheating and cursing that
False God in Heaven. Mankind will bow
down before me
and worship me and I shall gather my army, until I can cast down that False God
in Heaven.
On the day Joshua died, I learned and
taught my angels to be invisible. I
said, “Now we will go among mankind and tempt them, mankind will follow my
ways.”
My angels and I went to the lands
where the Israelites were. We did tempt
them and cause them to turn away from God.
God in Heaven became angry with the Israelites and punished them. He let other nations defeat them and oppress
them. There was no place on earth that
was safe for the Israelites. The people
they call the Midianites had ruled over and oppressed the Israelites for seven
years. Seven years of bliss.
After seven years of oppression, the
Israelites turned to God in Heaven and prayed in earnest to him. “Oh Heavenly Father, creator of all,
please hear
our prayer. We had turned away from you
and now understand our sins against you. We pray that you will send to us
someone who has the faith, as Moses did.
A man who can once again lead us in the righteous ways. Oh heavenly God, please hear our prayer for
we are broken and can no longer continue our path in life.” Blah, blah, blah. Their prayers were so long.
The Israelites always turned away from
God and then would turn back to God faster than a revolving door. God in heaven
heard their cries
for help and
once again sent his angel, Thunder, to help the Israelites.
Thunder knew a man named Gideon, who must now lead the
Israelites. Thunder told Gideon that God has heard the cries of the
Israelites. They were cry babies. God found favor with Gideon and heard his prayers. That is why God sent Thunder to help, guide
and protect the Israelites so they could defeat the Midianites. Looks like those damn Israelites will be free
again. Thunder, of all angels for God to
send.
Then Thunder told Gideon to tear down all
altars to Baal. My lovely hand made altars.
Here they go again! The
Israelites tore down my
lovely hand
made alters to Baal and all my false Gods.
Thunder led Gideon and the Israelites to victory, damn, against the Midianites. I called
for my angels
and said, “Once again, that False God in Heaven has sent his angel, Thunder, to
help and guide the Israelites to victory.
We must, again, go throughout the Israelites to turn them against the
false God in Heaven, to tempt them to my ways.”
I saw Gideon praying to God in Heaven. I
waited until he had finished and I
tempted Gideon by bringing him to the mountain called
Akrabbim. I showed Gideon all of the land that lay
beneath the mountain and told Gideon if he would do what I required, then all
that he saw would be his. I did this
mountain tempting thing on several occasions, there is just something about
being on top of a mountain. Gideon said,
“I leave you now, you great deceiver. I
shut my ears, mind, heart and soul to you.
I call on the true God in Heaven to help me.”
Gideon quickly left the mountain. I was with rage. I think rage has always been my down
fall. I pushed Gideon and made him
stumble.
Down he went,
cuts, bumps, bruises and bleeding. Gideon cried out for God and God heard
Gideon. God came upon the mountain and with a great wind, he threw me off the
mountain. Cuts, bumps, bruises and bleeding.
Remember, I am
earth bound. God called his angels in
heaven. They tended to Gideon, fixed his
wounds and carried him down the mountain,
gave him food
and water and stayed with him. Gideon lived for another forty years then he
died. After that mountain episode, I
never bothered Gideon again. Can you
blame me?
At the time when the Philistines ruled
over the Israelites, Beelzebub came to me and told me that a child, named
Samson, was born. A child that is righteous with that false God in Heaven. That false God in Heaven has given this child
special powers that no human has ever had..
I, with a gleam in my eye, asked Beelzebub, “Is this the false God in
Heaven’s son that he has spoken about?” Beelzebub replied, “My Lord, I cannot
be sure, for this child was just born.” I really thought this was it,
that God’s son
is born. Disappointed! I know that I should not get my hopes up but,
damn, I was crushed. I instructed
Beelzebub to go, be with this child, report to me all that you see and
hear. If this is the son of that false
God in Heaven, then I will tempt and persuade him to my ways.
As Samson grew into young manhood, he was
taken by the beauty of a young Philistine girl.
Although his parents were against this marriage, Samson still married
the young Philistine girl. Yes, when
this happened, I
knew this was
not God’s son, just a wannabe. I entered
the dreams of one of the kings of the Philistines, there were five of them,
they would fight like women fighting over a piece of jewelry. I placed many thoughts about Samson into this
king’s mind. The king called for the
general of his army and asked about this young man, named Samson. “Why does this Samson
insult me by
marrying a Philistine girl? Go and bring
this Samson before me. I will have him
beat for insulting me.” When the Philistine
Army reached the town of Lehi, they asked the Israelites where Samson was. They said the king wanted them to retrieve
Samson and bring him before the king so that the king may have Samson beat for
insulting him. The Israelites were with
fear and told the Philistines that if they gave the Israelites until the next
day they would bring Samson back.
With the Philistines agreeing, the
Israelites ran to the Mountain of Etam and called out for Samson. They told Samson what had happened
and told him
if he really cared for Israel and for
God in Heaven, he would go back with them to the Philistines. Samson replied, “I will go with you because I
care for God in Heaven and for the people of Israel. Together we can fight the
Philistines, defeat them and have our freedom.”
But the Israelites were not as brave as Samson, they were not brave at
all, they were all wusses.
If only Samson would have been on my
side. They all said, “We do not want to
die, therefore, we will not fight.”
Samson said, “On this day, God in Heaven will give me victory over the
Philistines.”
The Israelites took Samson to where the
whole Philistine Army was and handed him over
to the
army. God in Heaven gave Samson the
strength, as
no other human ever had.
Samson started to kill the Philistines as
they tried to take him. Good, more
killings, more souls. Even those with a
sword or spear, were
no match for
Samson, who used rocks and timbers from trees. He was the lean, mean fighting
machine, and giving me more souls for my
Hell. Samson even used the jaw from a dead donkey.
As the Israelites looked upon Samson,
their courage grew and they, themselves, joined into fighting the
Philistines. After two hours of battle,
almost one hundred Philistines were either hurt or had been killed. Samson,
that wild man, sought out the General of the Philistine Army and cut his head
off. With a loud scream, Samson raised
he general’s head on a pole. I swear
that the General was alive, his eyes were moving and he was speaking. I think he was saying, “You bastard, you
bastard.” Then he
died.
Samson told the Philistines to look and
see what has happened to your General. When the Philistine Army had seen this,
they lost their
courage and
fled. The Israelites rejoiced and made
Samson their leader. Even though the
Philistines were in charge of the Israelites, they
would still
have to go before Samson to give the Israelites any rules.
I called for Beelzebub and told him to go
throughout all the lands and find the most beautiful woman that he could. I told him that when he found her, to place
an idea into her mind that she must come to the city, called Lehi, so that she
could make Samson her husband.
I turned into a bird and flew to one of
the kings of Philistine. I sat on the
window sill and asked the king why he seem so unhappy? The
king, although
startled, answered me the bird. “It is
that damn Samson, any rules I pass must be approved by Samson, who is not even
a king. Oh lowly bird, if only you could
help me.” I answered, “Your majesty, I
am not what I appear. I am only a bird
so that you may see and hear me. I have
powers and will give you this Samson right into your hands.”
The king said, “So many have tried, so many have failed. If you, lowly bird, could do this for the
five kings of Philistine, we would reward you handsomely with gold and silver.
Why do I talk to this bird, he can do nothing.” I told the king to be silent and watch in
amazement at my powers. I told the king
to walk on the ceiling of the room, which I enabled the king to do. This was no trick, I was learning the power
of the mind.
The king said,
“If you can do this, then you, bird, can deliver unto us Samson.” I told the king to inform the other four
kings of Philistine to meet here in three days.
“I, Satan, will show my power, I, Satan will deliver unto you this man
called, Samson.” The king asked what
would be payment from us five kings? I
told him, “I will tell you what payment I desire when all the kings have gathered here.”
When the kings had gathered, I showed my
power by letting all five kings walk upon the ceiling. They were like five hens, cackling and
bumping into
each other. The five kings asked what
payment I would desire? I replied, “your
majesties, I ask for nothing while you live on this earth but promise me that
when you die, you will be my loyal followers.”
Taking souls is just too easy.
The kings all looked at one another and asked, “This is the only payment
that you request of us? That when we go
to the other world, we will be your loyal followers? But how can this be? For you would have to be the king of the
other world.” I changed from the
bird into a
ghostly human form. Talk about being
scared, they were so scared that they could not move. I was laughing at these asses, but I had to
act serious. I told them if they wanted
Samson handed over, then they must swear on the day that they die, they will be
my loyal followers. With fear, the kings
all pledged to be my loyal followers.
I waited for Beelzebub to return, I was
making clay images of myself, which I would give to all those who would be my
loyal followers, what a lovely gift. I
heard a familiar voice then saw a familiar ghostly figure. It was Aaron.
Startled, I looked and asked Aaron how he had escaped from my
prison? Aaron said, “The true God in
Heaven has released my bonds from your Hell.
I, Aaron will tell you the truth.
You are the great deceiver, who not only deceives others, but who also
deceived himself. You were created by
God only because of God’s love. God is the master, but you act like the master.” Getting bored, I interrupted asking if he was
going to be long winded, but he acted as if he did not hear me and kept right
on speaking. “You should worship God,
help mankind. You have turned something
beautiful into something evil, ugly and vile. You have set yourself up to be as
God. You can never be as God, because
you have no love within or around you.
Satan, your time is short, get on your knees and ask forgiveness of the true God in
Heaven.”
“Enough is enough,” I replied. “Back to Hell, you weak being, I do not
listen to what you speak. I am the true
God because I am strong. I will separate
the strong from the weak and my kingdom will have no end.” What a speech and that Aaron faded like a
mist and was back in my prison.
I was puzzled? Why had that false God in Heaven sent Aaron
to me? I called out to that false God in
Heaven and He appeared as a cloud. I
asked false God to show himself. God
said, “Satan, my great power and light would even be too much for you. If I were to appear to you as I am, then you,
Satan, would be no more. Satan, I am a
loving and forgiving God. If you will
turn from your evilness, I, the Lord your God, will forgive you, and my son
will save you from your Hell.” I
replied, “God, why not just cast me down to the bowels of Hell, where I will be
in my own anguish?” God said, “Because I
am a loving God, I know you will never change.
My hope is that I may change your soul, you will worship me and
find love within and around you. For when I created you, I only did this
because of my love for you. Because of
my wisdom, I feel you will serve me.
Mankind chooses their own way. As
I have stated before,
they may
follow your path, which will lead to the bowels of Hell and an end at judgment,
or they will find me and with love, kindness and
knowledge
within them and around them, they will dwell in my heavenly body forever.” After God had spoken,
the cloud disappeared. I was
troubled.
I got mad so I threw down the clay idols of myself. Okay, it was a
tantrum. I wept, I did, I know it sounds
crazy, but I did. I had many thoughts of
where I had been, what I had done. At this time, I had lived for over six
thousand years. Maybe it was just my age
catching up with me. I went to a
mountain top and there I stayed for three days.
I guess you
could say this
was my time of confusion.
Later that night, Beelzebub appeared
saying, “My Lord, I still have not found the woman that you make me seek. What?
No hot women in all
the
lands? I replied, “Beelzebub, that does
not matter. I must know, is it wrong for
wanting to be a strong God for the world of the dead ?”
Beelzebub was
puzzled. I could always tell when
Beelzebub is puzzled, it looks like he is trying to take a shit. He replied, “My Lord, why do you ask me this
question? For what and why you do things
is your own business, we have no right to question what you do.” “The reason I have this question is, the
false God came to me and entered doubts into my soul. Now I seek and question all that I do.” Beelzebub got to his knees and told me, “It
does not matter what that False God in heaven has said. It is only important what you, the God of
this Earth and dead, think.” I replied, “My good friend and son Beelzebub,
where will all this lead? Is
this what life
is for, mankind will toil, then die, to be placed into the bowels of my
Hell? We tempt mankind only for his own
pleasures and
mankind then
blames me. I did not make man seek
pleasures or for man not to worship that
false God in Heaven. Mankind will drink too much, have immoral sex, steal, lie,
cheat with weights and measurers, and even kill their fellow man, then man will
blame me for their own weakness. Their own path, they themselves have decided
to take. If that false God in Heaven is
correct, and his son comes and casts me down and I am no more, then what have I
lost? But if in the end times, I can
cast that False God in Heaven and his son down and they are no more, then look
what I have gained. I, Satan, will then be able to do whatever I choose to
do. I can destroy Hell, I can destroy
this place called Earth, I can even destroy the whole universe.
My being is clear now, I will never give
up, I will fight until the end times. I
will tempt mankind because he is weak and he will always be weak. Mankind will
always seek someone to blame for the path in which they take. Come my son, we will drink of the new wine
and we will drink until we drink no more.”
In the morning, Beelzebub left again to
seek the most beautiful woman, so that she may tempt Samson. When he came to the valley
called Sorek,
he saw a beautiful woman, named Delilah, at a well, retrieving water. A beauty that he had never seen in a human
before. How
beautiful was
Delilah? I would have to say she was the
original ten.
She was very young, her hair was dark,
like the night, and was with curl. Her eyes were of almond shape and they were
also dark like the
night. Her lips and
nose were placed with care on her face, as to make her perfect. She was only one and a half cubits high. Her top and bottom were where the most of her
weight was.
Beelzebub appeared to Delilah, as a fox,
and spoke, “You must go to the city of Lehi, for there you will find your
destiny, riches of silver and gold and the
famous man they call Samson and all this is yours.” Delilah looked at the fox and could not
believe that it had spoken words. Delilah replied, “Fox, how is it that you can
speak the words of men?” Beelzebub told Delilah, “At one time a wizard who I had worked for, drank
too much wine and as a cruel joke changed
me into a fox.”
Now, Delilah was beautiful, but she was
not smart, everyone knows that wizards cannot do things like this and only use
cheap magic
tricks. “In the morning when the wizard awoke from
his drunken sleep, he became fond of the fox and he would not change me back to
the humble human that I was. I stayed
with the wizard for twenty years hoping each day that he would find it in his
heart to change me back into a human.
When it came time for the wizard to die, he called for the king’s
servant and gave me to him as a gift for the king.
I lived in the palace of the king. I was able to hear and understand what was
going on. I heard, with my own ears,
that if the most beautiful woman in all the land would come to the city of Lehi
and marry the famous man they call
Samson, the five kings of Philistine would bequest upon her, 1000 buckets of
silver and 1000 buckets of gold and would give her a queen status.” Delilah
asked Beelzebub why he thought that she, Delilah, was the most beautiful woman
in all of these lands of Philistine?
Beelzebub
replied, “Because I have searched for two years throughout the lands of
Philistine and beyond. I have never seen
such beauty as yours. In fact, in all my
years, I have only seen one other who had your beauty, and that was second to
yours. Now come with me Delilah, to the
city of Lehi, and meet your destiny.”
Beelzebub returned to me and delivered the
good news that he had found a woman with such beauty that it will tempt Samson
and deliver
the souls of
the five kings into my hands. At once, I
delivered the news to the kings, who each sent out their armies to protect and
guide Delilah to the city of Lehi.
All five kings proclaimed seven days of
feasting. With my urging there will be a
mass orgy. Delilah is brought before the
five kings who tell Delilah that she has such beauty, it will be easy for her
to tempt and marry Samson. “After you
marry Samson, you must find out the secret of his tremendous strength, then we
will give you 1000 buckets of silver and 1000 buckets of gold,” they told
her. Delilah asked the five kings, “Why
do you want the secret of his strength and after I give you the secret, will
you harm this
man they call Samson, who is to be my husband?”
The five kings reply, “No, we only request this information because we
have placed a bet among ourselves and we wish to settle our bet.” You see, that is why they are kings, they can
lie so well. Delilah then agrees to the
five king’s terms.
She went to where Samson lives. Samson’s
eyes behold the beauty of Delilah and lust is in the air. He requests that she have a feast with him.
During the feast, Samson tells Delilah of her beauty and asks her to drink the
new wine with him. Delilah asks Samson,
“If I drink the new wine with you, will you marry me and be my husband?”
Samson, with his drinking of the new wine and his passion for Delilah, says,
“Yes.” Samson was a lucky guy. I almost
took Delilah for myself but I really
wanted the
five
souls.
After they spent a night together, Delilah
again asks Samson, “When will you marry me?”
Now that the wine and passion are no longer within Samson, he replies,
“We must wait, for you are not Hebrew. I
must receive special permission from the elders.” Delilah, with anger and
resentment, replies, “How could you do this to me, for I drank the new wine
with you and you took me as you would a wife.
Now you have said that you may not marry me. You have cheapened and disgraced me. I cannot go home, I cannot go anywhere, for
people will say, “There is the woman who drank the new wine with Samson and she
has been taken as his wife, but is not his wife, now she must be known as a
harlot.” Bless a woman’s scorn! Samson told Delilah that she could stay with
him and no one would dare speak of her in a defiled manner. Delilah, with rage in her heart, knows that
when she finds out the secret of his strength, she will hire someone to kill
this man, who has cheapened and disgraced her.
Samson, you will be no more.
I heard Delilah’s thoughts and I
instructed Beelzebub to go to Delilah
and tell her of the true plans of the five kings and make sure he
stokes her
rage of fire in her heart, against Samson.
Beelzebub went to Delilah, as she sat
under a tree, and he asked, “Why do you cry?”
Delilah replies, “I cry because I drank the new wine
with Samson
and I let him take me as his wife but he has shamed me and will not marry
me.” Beelzebub told Delilah of the five
kings true plans of seizing and torturing Samson. Beelzebub stokes the fire of
rage by lying and telling Delilah that Samson has done this to many women, who
cry out for justice. Delilah told
Beelzebub to go to the five kings and let them know to send an army for
Samson. “When I shout, ‘Samson, here
come the Philistines,’ then they will know that Samson is without his strength.
They may seize and torture him.” With joy, I told the five kings to prepare an army to
seize Samson, for soon Delilah will hand
him over.
God saw what Samson was doing so he sent
his angel, Thunder, to Samson to warn him to turn from his sins and pray to the
Lord God in
Heaven, who
has given Samson his strength. I think
that is where the saying came from, “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh.”
Thunder appeared to Samson in a dream, and
told him that God in Heaven is not pleased with him and that he should turn
from his sins and
pray to God
for his forgiveness. Samson awoke and
prayed to God in Heaven for forgiveness.
Like all men, Samson was weak in flesh and his
desires for
Delilah were even stronger than his own strength. Again, he took Delilah as he would a
wife. Delilah, although she had rage in
her heart, submits to Samson and asks what gives him his great strength?
Samson, not trusting Delilah, told her a lie.
This battle of wits continued for weeks, with Delilah asking Samson
where he receives his great strength and Samson lying to her.
Again, God in Heaven is displeased with
Samson and instructs Thunder to go to Samson in the midday and let it be known
to him that the
Lord God in
Heaven, is displeased with him. If he
will not turn from his sins, then the Lord God in Heaven, will abandon him and
take away his
great strength.
Thunder found Samson, at midday, sitting
under a fig tree. This was like watching
a soap opera. When Samson saw Thunder,
he fell to his knees and said, “You are
the angel of God who came to me, during my sleep, and warned me to turn from my
sin and pray to God in Heaven for forgiveness.
I have done this, I have prayed in earnest to God for forgiveness.” Thunder replied, “Samson, as you did pray to
God for forgiveness, you have once again turned to sin, insulting God. I have
come to give you this final warning, turn from your sin now or the
Lord, your
God, will abandon you and you will lose your strength. The Philistines will capture you and make you
a fool, they will break you until you are no more.” Samson replied, “Thunder, I am weak in the
flesh, I cannot help my desires. Even
though I have great strength, it is no match for my desires for Delilah.”
Thunder instructs Samson that when his weakness comes within him for Delilah,
he should come by this fig tree and pray, in earnest, to God. Easy for an angel to say.
Two weeks have passed and Samson has not
taken Delilah in lust. Every time Samson is weak with his lust for Delilah, he
goes to the fig tree and prays to God. I
have named the tree, ‘I don’t want to be horny tree.’ Delilah tempts Samson by dancing for him and
still he will not be tempted. She called
for one of the king’s servants and told him, “Let the kings know to have their
armies ready this week. I will turn
Samson over to you and he will have no strength.” Delilah called for Samson and
told
him to lay
down, not as a husband, but as my friend.
Delilah wanted to tell Samson the stories of ancient times, of ancient
heroes. Samson, who was not feeling any
weakness for Delilah went to her and
laid upon her bed. She told Samson the ancient stories of the ancient
heroes. As the night passed, Delilah
gave a little wine to Samson. Then she gave more wine to
Samson until
he was filled with weakness and lust for Delilah. He had no strength to pray to God. In his weakness, he once more took Delilah as
a husband would take a wife. During this
time of weakness, Delilah asked Samson, what made his strength? Again, Samson lied.
When Samson was finished, he went to the
fig tree to pray to God for forgiveness. The tree was dead, it stood with no
fruit or leaves. God
was mad! Samson cried out for God and asked for forgiveness. Samson could feel his
strength leaving like water pouring from a bucket. Samson knew he had sinned
against God and knew God had abandoned him. Delilah saw Samson in his sadness
and asked Samson, why he was unhappy?
Samson replied, “Delilah, God has abandoned me, my great strength leaves
me as we speak. I am depressed and do
not care for life.” Delilah knew she had
Samson at hand. Again, she asked Samson
how he came by his great strength? This
time Samson, knowing that God had
abandoned him because of his sin, tells Delilah the truth. “My most
beautiful
Delilah, my great strength, which God the creator has given me comes to me from
my hair, for without it I am as any mortal man.”
Delilah told
Samson to rest and she will prepare a feast for them, they will drink the new
wine and then be as husband and wife.
As Samson rests, Delilah calls for the
king’s servant and tells him the time has come for the taking of Samson. As Samson sleeps, Delilah cuts off his hair.
The army takes Samson, for he was as any mortal man. They brought Samson before the kings, who
laughed and made fun of him. You know, I
almost felt sorry for Samson. Instead, I
coined the phrase, “you made your bed, now you must lie in it.”
One of the kings tells the army, “We
should be sure that he can no longer harm us.
Take him to the dark place,” which was a room with no windows, a place
were they would chain, beat and kill
prisoners. My kind of place! One step above my Hell.
Once Samson is there, they took a spear
and took out his eyes. Delilah, hearing this, came to the kings and said, “I
have handed Samson
over to you,
you told me that no harm would come to him. You only wanted to torment and
shame him.” The kings respond, “Delilah,
you
shall not tell
us kings what we can do, for if we choose, we would do the same to you. Go, for now you are a queen, your silver and
gold awaits
you. Our guides will take you to your kingdom as
we promised you.” The kings had no
intentions of letting Delilah keep the silver and gold. They told the guides, “When you are far from
the city, turn on Delilah, do what you will to her, then burn her face with
fire as to make her unpleasant to look at.”
When the guides had taken Delilah seven days from the city, they turned
on her and did what they wanted to her.
They took fire and burned her face, so it made her unpleasant to look
at. Delilah lived the rest
of her life
begging for money. She lived without a
home or husband and lived until she was Sixty six years old. When she died, she was sent to my Hell for
sinning against God. Even in her torment in Hell, she would not turn to God.
When I heard what had happened to Samson,
I called for Beelzebub and said, “The mighty Samson has been weakened, then
defeated. If we have the wisdom and
knowledge to do this, then surely we can defeat that False God in Heaven’s son,
even the False God himself.
The five kings made Samson work, grinding
grains and showing him off to other kings.
All came to see the once mighty Samson.
The five
kings made
sure that Samson’s hair was kept short.
They kept him chained in the dark place, there he was beaten and
tortured. The five kings
ordered a
great feast with magic, music and games,
they would show Samson off and maybe even beat him before all. My kind of
party! When Samson heard this, he prayed
to God in earnest and asked God to forgive him.
He thought if God would only give him his great strength, just one more
time, he would tell the five kings and all Philistines, that it was God in
Heaven who gave him his strength.
In the morning, the young boy who brought
Samson his meal told him that a miracle had happened. The dead fig tree bears leaves and
even bears
fruit. When Samson heard this, he knew God was with him. Samson called for one of the king’s
servants. He told the servant to go to
the king and tell him that he wished to speak with him. When Samson was brought
before the king, he told the king he heard of the great feast and would like to
show everyone something great, something that has never been seen before. That should have been a clue. The dumb ass kings told Samson that would be
a fitting end to our feast. Samson prays
to God, day and night, he feels his strength returning just as the fig tree is
bearing fruit again.
The day of the feast about one thousand
had gathered to eat, drink and watch in amazement, all wonders from the four
corners of the earth.
Then the kings
called for Samson. He turns to the kings
and tells them he will now do something that will make his God proud. The kings all shouted, “Make our God, Dragon,
proud, make our God, Dragon, proud.”
Samson went to one of the columns that held up the roof and pushed at
the column. As he did, he turned to the
five kings and all one thousand who had gathered and said, “Your God, Dragon,
is false. He cannot save you, for it is
the God in Heaven, my God in Heaven, who is the true God,
creator of
Heaven and Earth and everything in between, of all things seen and unseen. When you are in Hell please ask my God for
his forgiveness. God will forgive you, and his son who is coming soon will release
you from your bonds in Hell.” Samson
pushed the column and the roof caved in, many were crushed. As the others who had not been crushed tried
to escape, Samson called out to God in Heaven, and with his strength, he pushed
the other column and the whole roof collapsed, all who were there that day
died.
Samson laid under a large block from the
roof and he prayed to God to have God forgive his sins. God replied, “Samson, because you
have sinned
against me and would not hear my words, I must send you to Hell.” Oh boy, another soul! “But only until my son comes for you, to
break the bonds of Hell. But know this,
until that day comes, you must keep your faith in me.” Then Samson died and went to the bowels of my
Hell. Samson never did speak to Delilah while he was in my Hell, although I
think Delilah still loved Samson. There
Samson stayed, with his faith in God, until the son of God came and broke his
bonds of my Hell. More about that in
chapter eight.
“Okay Don, the writer, do you have any
questions?”
“Just call me Don. What are
your ten commandments?”
“My ten commandments, you know, I did not
make them until Jesus came. I tried to tell him my ten commandments, but he
would always tell me to leave or get out.
My ten commandments are;
1-Good pleasures are only human.
2-Cheat another before they cheat
you.
3-Only honor your mother and father, if
they honor you.
4-If someone is going to hurt you, hurt
them first.
5- Do not give back what you have
found.
6-Do not forgive others, for they do not
forgive you.
7-Be a leader at all costs.
8-Do what you must, to save yourself.
9-A sin is a sin, so when you sin, sin
large.
Number ten is my favorite. 10-God will forgive you.”
“Satan, you can actually get hurt?”
“Yes, I can actually get hurt but over
the centuries I have found ways for my hurts to go to others. God, when he cast me down to Earth, made me
human in some physical aspects.
Remember, in the chapter when I was being stoned, that really hurt
me. Now, if the same thing happened
today, why, I would just transfer my pain to someone else. Like a newborn, they have no sense.”
“How many souls do you have?”
“Millions, billions, lets just say I have
more souls than McDonald’s has served burgers, with lots more coming every
day. I have not been able to keep all
souls that come into my Hell. Some
repent and I lose those. There was the
great emptying of my Hell after Jesus came and
left. He took a lot of my souls with him. Some of
the great ones like Adam and Moses. But
more about that in chapter nine. I must
go and
rest, for
tonight is a full moon. I must say my
prayers to the moon.”
Chapter 5 The Kings Come
“Lets see, chapter five. Oh yes, that is about the kings of Israel.
Most of them were easy to tempt. They
were all power hungry, they were
all in my
Hell. Some are still there, they have
not repented yet. Lets see, Oh yes, I
gathered my angels.”
I gathered my angels, Beelzebub, Little
Evil and Dragon and went into the land of Gad and there we wandered for six
years. I only stayed in the land of Gad
that long because I wanted mankind to forget all that I had done.
One day a voice came from a cave. At this point, I was hearing more and more
voices. You know, the voices of the
dead, the voices of the living, the voices from that false God’s angels.
The voice said, “I know who you are, you are the great deceiver.” I was surprised because
we were
invisible so how could this human see us?
I called, “My friend, how is it that you can see me?” The voice did not reply. I could make out a shadowy figure crouching
in the cave. Again, I called out, “My friend, make yourself known so that we
can speak face to face.” The shadowy
figure said nothing but started to throw rocks at me and my angels. “See this bump, right here, near the left
side of my head, that is from one of those rocks.” I pointed my arm at the shadowy figure and
fire balls were thrown his way, which made the shadowy figure emerge from the cave. “Satan, it is a shame
that your fire balls do no harm.” He asked Little Evil
if he knew
where his brother was. Little Evil replied, “How is it that you know of my
brother? He was consumed by fire and sent to the bowels of Hell by the false
God in heaven.” Then the shadowy figure
stepped out of the cave and into the light and said to Little Evil, “Now you
see who I am, now you know who I am. On
the day we were both created by the true God in Heaven, God made us special. God made us the only twins from Heaven to
Earth. We were to work together for love
and peace so mankind would see this and know the power and grace of the
heavenly God. We became proud and did
not do what our Lord wanted us to do. We were corrupted and turned to this
false God, who calls himself Satan. We did his bidding for him. When I came to him with my failure, he tore
my powers from
me. I had no other choice so I escaped
to this land where I had to live as mankind.
The years passed and I truly thought that I would wither and die,
because I was once an angel. God’s
angel, Sky, came unto me and told me that I will not die but will live until
the end times.”
This one was going on like a woman. Okay, what was his point? “Since I have been here, I have been able to
search my heart and my very
soul. I came to realize what the truth is. I have prayed every day, almost all day long.
When I can, when mankind does not fear the way I look, I talk to mankind about
the true God in Heaven. My brother, who
was once known as Alpha, was named by the true God in Heaven. He turned from the righteous God and was
named Little Evil, by Satan. I call to
your heart that you know I am your twin, Omega.”
Little Evil turned to me and asked, was
this true? If I could have taken those two and put one of their heads up the
other one’s ass, would I
have?
Yes! Little Evil said to me that he
feels the truth, No, I just think that
it is gas. Little Evil asked me why had
I lied to him. I only had three angels
left and did not want to lose another. I
replied, “My dear Little Evil, I am sad to tell you I had to protect you from
your own twin, who wanted to cast you down. Yes, it was I who tore the powers from Little Horn
but it was only to protect you.” “My
brother, Alpha, search your heart with your whole being. The truth cannot be covered. Come, we will pray for mankind and for peace,
until the end times.”
I had rage, so I cursed and made fire
consume Little Horn but it did no harm.
When Little Evil saw this, he
fell to his knees and prayed to God in Heaven for forgiveness. Then God’s angel, Sky, came to Little Evil
and told him, “From this day forward, you will be as mankind. No longer will
you have the powers of an angel and no longer will you be known as Little
Evil. You shall be known as Alpha, the
name God gave you on the day he created you.
You will live until the end times, until the
son of the
true God in Heaven comes to judge. Know
this, if you live as your brother Omega, then you will be saved. But if you fail, on judgment day, God’s son will cast you down
and you will be no more.”
Alpha and Omega returned to the cave to
pray for peace and for mankind. I
consumed them with fire, but it did no good.
I cursed them, cursed Sky and even cursed God in Heaven. Nothing like a good curse now and then.
Beelzebub led me to the land called
Moab. Dragon came to me saying he
overheard some angels speaking about a woman named Ruth.
They said,
“Through the house of Ruth, God will lay his foundation.” At once, I called for Beelzebub. I told him and Dragon to go throughout the
land of Moab, until they found this being called Ruth. When they find her,
they should
stay with her and report all that they see and hear to me.
Many weeks passed, Beelzebub and Dragon
were sitting by a well as birds. Two Moabite women were fetching water, one woman named
Shiloh asked
the other named Ruth why she would pray to the Hebrew God, when the Gods of the
Moabite people had almost always protected and guided them , and why would she
marry a Hebrew man? Ruth answered, “I tell you this, I know that the Hebrew God
is true. God is the creator of
everything. Since I have found the
Hebrew God, my heart has opened. I find
that each day is special. I can feel
God’s love. I know with my heart, mind
and soul that this is correct. I married
this Hebrew man, named Chilion, because he has never treated me like a
foreigner. He is a good husband, even
though he cannot deliver children to me.
I love
him, his
people and his God.”
When Beelzebub heard this, he instructed
Dragon to fly to me and tell me all that they had seen and heard. I instructed Dragon to fly back to Beelzebub
and tell him he must have someone cast
this Hebrew, called Chilion, down until he is no more, then the false God in Heaven will no
longer have a foundation. The false God is strong enough without having
any
foundations.
Beelzebub instructed Dragon to go find
servants of this man, called Chilion, and place rage within them, so that they
will cast him down. I think a nice
poison would be the way to go. Dragon
found a servant of Chilion and placed rage within him. He then placed the idea of poison as a way to
vent their rage. The servant carried out
this deadly deed and then
Chilion
died.
God saw what Dragon did and came to
him. He took his powers away and made
him visible for all to see. God colored
him green and told
him, “I do
this so that all mankind will know you are not to be trusted. I give you this warning; if any angel takes
his hand and causes any of my people,
which I have created, to die, then I,
the true God in Heaven, will cast them down to the bowels of Hell. There they
will feel the torment that they themselves have given to mankind.” Then God left.
Dragon went to Beelzebub and told him what
that false God in Heaven did. At first glance, Beelzebub thought that Dragon
had eaten
something that
had turned him green, because Dragon was always doing something stupid. Beelzebub said, “I will fly to Satan, he will
know what to do.” Yeah, right, I don’t
think I can fix that! “Dragon, you can
no longer fly. You must steal a donkey
so that you can travel. We will meet in
three days, when the moon is no longer seen in the night sky.”
They each went their own ways. What they
did not realize was, because of Ruth’s faith in God, He gave her a new husband
and he was
also a Hebrew
man. There were too many Hebrews! The
man’s name was Boaz, who planted his seed in Ruth and became the foundation for
God’s house, the house of David, the house of God’s son. Failed again, must I
do everything
myself?
Beelzebub came to me stating what the
false God in Heaven had done to Dragon. He told me that we should meet Dragon
in three days when the moon is no longer in the night sky. To which I replied,
“We can do nothing for our brother, Dragon.
We must go to the land of Ephraim,
for I have
heard the false God in Heaven has blessed this land. We
must go and find out why.”
Beelzebub again asked me, “But what of our brother Dragon?” I did not want to hurt Beelzebub by saying
that Dragon is a big screw up and that is why we will leave him. I was hoping
Dragon would die, being stoned to death or something like that, so I said, “We
do not have time for our brother Dragon, for the defeat of the False God maybe
at hand.”
While we were in the land of Ephraim, Dragon
searched throughout the land of Moab for
us. Since he no longer had the powers of
an angel, he
would have to steal or rob to continue his journey. When mankind saw Dragon, mankind did not
trust him. Mankind would throw rocks at
him and try to drown him and give chase to him. Wherever Dragon went, he was a
hunted man, thing, being, or whatever he was.
One night when Dragon was tired, he lay
down by a tree, in the land of Ephrath,
and with the night chill, he curled up into a ball and went
into a deep
sleep. He dreamed of the times when he was mighty, of times when he was one of
God’s angels. When he was one of my angels, those dreams gave him pleasure. The
morning sun warmed him, he looked toward the sky but only saw partial light. He realized he was in some sort of box. There were men on the outside who poked
sticks at him and made
fun of
him. Dragon became as a wild animal and
tried to bite and claw these men who had placed him in the box. They traveled throughout many lands showing
off one of my angels, Dragon. They
called him, ‘The green wild lizard man of Ethiopia.’ People would come and stare, make fun of him
and say that no God would have created such a thing. He must
have come from
another place, maybe even a star in the heavens or beings from another
star. Aliens! I’ll never tell.
Me and Beelzebub traveled across Ephraim
as birds, searching, looking and listening for any signs of False God in
Heaven. Then word came out of the city they called Ramah that a child of God
had been born. I went to the city of Ramah and found the place where a child,
called Samuel, was. I tried to tempt
Samuel, but God came and said, “I have made it so that you have no powers here,
Satan.” I replied, “Oh God, I
only came to
see your son, to look upon him, to see what you have created. I intend your son
no harm.” God replied without speaking,
“Satan, this is not my son. This child
lays the foundation for my house that will have no end. Now be gone evil one.” After God had spoken, a mighty wind blew me
many miles away. Every time I would try
to get close to Samuel, a mighty wind would come and send me away.
I told Beelzebub that the time has come
when we must go back to the land of the Philistines. We will speak to the new king of the
Philistines, to convince him that he must take his great armies and take God’s
Covenant Box, with its great powers.
Since we can no longer do any harm to mankind, we will fool the Israelite
army by showing them images in their brains that will make them have great
fear. They will run when they see the great armies of the Philistines. Then the Philistines will take God’s Covenant
Box and we will have the power to overcome that false God in Heaven.
We flew to the land of the Philistines and
entered the king’s palace where the king was bathing and relaxing. I asked the
king, “Sir,
how would you
like your name to go down in history with much greatness and strength? To be known, for all times, as the king who
defeated the great nation of Israel and who was able to take the highly prized
Covenant Box from the Israelites?” The king, startled, looked at the birds and
called for his servants. I spoke again,
“Sir, I only appear as a bird but I can
appear as you
please. I have only come to help you defeat the Israelites.”
The king told me to change into a cat so that he may know it is not a
dream. It felt like the time when I entertained the
five kings. Sometimes I wonder, am I the
king of this Earth and Hell or an entertainer?
At once, I changed into a snow white cat, as the king’s servants
entered. The king turned to his servants
and asked what they saw on the ledge of his bath, to which the servants
replied, “A cat my Lord.” After hearing
this, the king dismissed his servants.
The king asked me how it was that I could change into a bird or
cat? “Why should you favor me to defeat
the Israelites?”
“Your Majesty, I have come from the other
world, the world where us Gods
live.” I don’t know why I didn’t tell
this king who I really was, I guess you could call it having fun. “We know that you honored us and made human
sacrifices unto the God called Dragon.
In the counsel of the Gods, we have found favor with you. Therefore, I have come from the world of the
Gods to ask you to lead your armies against the Israelites and capture their
God’s sacred Covenant Box.” The king
replied, “My dear
God, my armies
are great but time after time we have fought the Israelites and have lost. What can I do? Have you come to help my armies defeat the
Israelites so that we can capture their Covenant Box?” I told the king my plan to confuse the
Israelite’s army. The king called his
armies for battle against the Israelites.
Me and Beelzebub confused the Israelites
and they fled. At the end of three days
of fighting, the Israelites were defeated and fled, in
confusion,
with over four thousand Israelites killed.
Their sacred Covenant Box was gone, taken by the Philistines. Will I
gain power? Will
this box make
me stronger than the False God?
I felt like I
was king, not of Hell and Earth, but the whole universe.
Later, I knew I was fooled, I had that
sinking feeling, I had gained nothing. That false God had crushed me again. The
king was joyous and
told his
servants to prepare thirty human sacrifices as a gift to the Gods. I love a
good human sacrifice! I told Beelzebub, we have victory against the False God
in heaven. I was wrong.
The Philistines carried God’s Covenant Box
throughout the city of Ashdod, made fun
of it and did all kinds of immoral things around the
Covenant Box
as to insult God in Heaven. Oh, how I
love a parade. No one could touch the
Covenant Box because, when they did, they would be no more. The number of Philistines who touched the
Covenant Box, who were no more, was over two hundred. Zap, here comes another soul into my Hell! On the day of the False God in Heaven’s
Sabbath, he struck the
Philistines,
who lived in the city of Ashdod, with painful tumors, and struck down and broke
all statues of the Philistine’s Gods. The Philistines were with fear and moved
the Covenant Box to the city of Gath but God did as he had done in the city of
Ashdod. When the king saw this and felt his own painful tumors, he knew that
the Israelite’s God was much more
powerful than
his own Gods. I guess you could say I was now looking for a new home. To add insult to injury, the king ordered his
servants to go and make sacrifice of a cat. What cat? A white cat, me! The king wanted to appease
the Israelite’s God. The king ordered
the sacred Covenant Box returned to the land of the Israelites.
I was sleeping when the servants came to
make me a sacrifice to the Israelite’s God.
As one of the servants was about to strike me with a
heavy hammer,
Beelzebub flew at the servant, upsetting his balance, causing the servant to
miss. I awoke, with Beelzebub attacking
the
servants. I grew into a giant cat making the servants
the size of mice. I placed images into their brains that made them flee in
horror. Me and Beelzebub changed into birds and flew into the land of the
Israelites.
As we traveled throughout the land of the
Hebrews, we kept hearing the name Samuel, who had become a wise and honored
judge, in all the lands of Israel. I
told Beelzebub that the False God in Heaven will not let us get close to this
man, Samuel. Let us go to the city that
is called Bethel and we will seek out not Samuel, but Samuel’s sons. We will corrupt and tempt them and make them
sin. We went into the city of Bethel, we
tempted and corrupted Samuel’s sons and made them sin.
While we were in the city, we came upon a
prostitute, named Mizpa. I encountered
a Philistine, named Giba, who paid and
took Mizpa. I made Giba plant his seeds
within Mizpa. When the time came for
Mizpa’s baby to be born, I took the form
of one of the midwives to help Mizpa give birth. Mizpa could not give birth because the baby
was too big. It was the biggest baby
ever born to a human. Mizpa tried, but could not give birth, she cried out in
pain, which gave me much pleasure. I asked Mizpa, “What shall we do?” Mizpa told me to cut her womb and take the
baby from it. I replied, “You can do it,
you can give birth to this baby, you must not die.” I knew that giving birth to this child would
open
her up like a
wet paper bag. Mizpa pushed and
pushed. Even the other midwives wanted
me to cut her womb and take the baby. I
told them, if
the Gods will
this, then this child will be born.
Mizpa pushed, and with what was her last breath, she pushed half of her
baby out. I took a knife and cut the
baby from Mizpa’s womb. I gave the baby to the other midwives and instructed
them to give this baby to the king and let the king know that the Gods have
spoken.
This is a special child. Just to make sure that the king would
understand, I wrote a letter, yes I was able to read and write. To all
Philistines, “On this day, the Gods have blessed you with this special baby
boy. He will be known as Goliath and will lead you into many battles and
no man, no
army or even a nation will defeat him. All nations will tremble at the sight of
Goliath. The Philistines shall rule over the whole world and the world will
know the power of the Gods and they will worship our Gods.” The midwives took the baby, with my letter,
and went to the king. The king’s wives took the baby and read my letter. They picked the baby
up and were
filled with joy.
I had
tempted and corrupted Samuel’s sons.
The Israelites did not want Samuel’s sons to lead Israel. They called on their leaders to
appoint a
king. When I heard this, I told
Beelzebub, “After the Israelites have chosen their king, we will go to him,
tempt him, corrupt him, and make him sin.
Then we will have power over the Israelites. In this way, we will defeat the false God in
Heaven.” The leaders asked Samuel to
pray to that God in Heaven and to send a man that would lead and guide the
Israelites, as did Moses. Samuel prayed
in earnest to God. He brought forth a
man named Saul and Samuel anointed Saul as the first king of Israel. I said to Beelzebub, “We will go to Saul, we
will tempt and corrupt him and he will sin.”
After a short time, the first king of
Israel, Saul, let himself be tempted, corrupted and he did sin. He even turned from that God in
Heaven. Samuel
went to Saul and told him that God was displeased with him but Saul
continued to
sin. I rejoiced! I told Beelzebub, “The
time has come that we must go, once more, to the land of the Philistines, for
there
we will find
my half son, Goliath. Yes, I had mated with a human but only half of me. We
will let Goliath know that the king of
the Israelites is corrupt and has sinned against that false God in heaven. With
the false God in Heaven, against the king of
Israel, they will not stand in battle but they will flee.”
Me and Beelzebub circled over the lands of
the Philistines until we saw many armies. On that day, I saw with my own eyes
the power of
my half son,
Goliath. Many soldiers were engaged in a
wrestling match that pitted twenty five men against one. That one was Goliath. As one soldier came at Goliath, he would send
them flying to the ground. At one point,
ten soldiers came at Goliath but Goliath prevailed. Me and
Beelzebub sat
on a branch and watched for over an hour as the mighty Goliath showed his
strength. Even I was amazed at the size
of Goliath, who was over six cubits tall and weighed several stones. When they finished wrestling, Goliath showed
all of the soldiers respect by bowing to them.
The soldiers replied with a shout, “Goliath, we will follow you into
battle, we
will never waver, we will never run. For
you we bow, for you we are your brothers of battle.” “My son, my son, today I am proud of
you.” The armies of the Philistines cheered wildly
and started to chant his name, “Goliath, Goliath, Goliath.”
That night as Goliath slept, I entered his
dreams and showed him Saul, the king of Israel, who had sinned against his own
God, who was no longer with Saul. I
showed Goliath the fear that was in the whole Israelite army. I showed Goliath, within three days, he would
have victory over the Israelites.
Goliath awoke before daybreak and told the
Philistine Army to rise and prepare for battle because a God had come to him in
a dream and
assured him
that we will have victory over the Israelites within three days. He told the
army, “Gather yourselves and prepare to march to the Valley of Elah and on to
victory.” My son, I thought he was marching to victory but he was only marching
to his death.
The spies of the Israelites went to Saul
and told him of the mighty Goliath and the Philistine armies marching towards
the Valley of Elah.
Saul ordered
his armies to meet The Philistine
army in the
Valley of Elah.
“We must defeat the Philistines or we will
be their slaves.”
The first day of the battle in the Valley
of Elah, both sides took and both sides gave.
The Israelites, to my surprise, fought bravely, as did the Philistines.
See, I could be a fair reporter. Why,
maybe they could use me at that news channel, Fox. There were about two
thousand killed or wounded on both sides, more souls!
On the second day of the battle in the
Valley of Elah, Goliath stepped forward and shouted to the sky and it was as
thunder. The Israelites, in total fear of this mighty giant, fled in terror. On
this day of battle, the Israelites lost three thousand, killed or wounded,
while the Philistines lost only one thousand, killed or wounded.
On this day when God saw what had
happened, he told his angel, Thunder, to go seek out the shepherd boy, named
David, who is righteous with me. Go into
his dreams and show him how he may gain victory over Goliath.
As David slept, Thunder entered his dreams
and showed him five stones, the sword of Goliath, Goliath’s head and the whole
Philistine army fleeing in horror. Thunder said to David, “The Lord God in
Heaven has found favor with you. You are
the foundation of God’s mighty house that has no end. God’s son will come and live in that house
forever and with no end.”
David awoke, he was with joy and went to
the Valley of Elah. While the Israelite’s army was fleeing in terror, David
asked, “Why do you
flee? Are we not the army with God in Heaven at our
sides?” Some of the soldiers shouted as
they fled. “The mighty Goliath has come,
he will destroy us all.” David took his
sling and picked up five small smooth rocks and ran toward the Philistine
army. At that time I thought, here comes
the dumbest Israelite. When Goliath saw
David running toward him, he spoke with a loud and thundering voice. “You small
boy, dare to rush at me? You insult
me! On this day, I will kill you and
place your
small headless
body on a pole and you will hang there so that the birds may eat of you.”
As Goliath picked up his spear to thrust
it at David, David took his sling and flung the first rock at my Goliath, which
struck him in the eye. That stopped
Goliath’s motion from throwing his spear.
Quickly, David let his second rock sail which exploded into Goliath’s
skull and
caused Goliath
to fall into a state of confusion. My Goliath fell to the ground. When the fleeing Israelites saw this, they
knew that God in
Heaven was with them so they turned to do battle against the Philistines. The
Philistines had no more courage and fled.
David rushed to where my Goliath lay, he even chased Goliath’s shield
and spear carriers. David, like a monster, stood over my Goliath and told him,
“Mighty Goliath, you have insulted God in heaven, who is the only true God. On
this day, I will take your head, place it on a pole and then I will strip your
armor and clothes off of your body so the birds will feast on you.” My Goliath, in his grogginess rolled over,
looked at David and
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